Thirteen (2003)
There are those that would have
you believe that "Thirteen" is a bold and unflinching
exploration of teenagers. It's not. It's a "Afterschool
Special" mixed with elements already explored much
more interestingly in "Kids" and wrapped up in a veiled
script of overwrought dramatics and manipulative screenwriting.
This film isn't going to be happy unless you ball
you eyes out and have a knot in your stomach. It's
not made to offend or exploit (like "Kids") but rather
to "inform" and exploit. What a crock of boring poop.
The film starts with a supposedly
bold and supposedly devastating scene where two teenage
girls (they look 17, so it's hard to even believe
the title of the film) hit each other in the face
really hard. They don't feel anything, supposedly,
because they are so fucked up on drugs. It's one of
the stupidest fucking things I've ever seen. Total
bullshit.
The film then flashes back and we
see that our heroine used to be a good kid. Sure,
she dressed in last years fashion and the "cool girls"
ignored her (gee - didn't this happen to Lisa on an
episode of "The Simpsons?"), but she is smart and
poetic and gets good grades. The minute out heroine
hooks up with the cool girls, she begins stealing
money, drinking, taking drugs and lying to her mother.
Within 20 minutes she is kissing her best schoolgirl
friend on the mouth (the only thing hotter than lipstick
lesbians are teenage lipstick lesbians) and giving
some "ethnic" guy a blowjob. Whatever.
The main thing that "Thirteen" tries
to say is that the world is full of hypocrites. Or,
that seems to be the message before we get wallowed
down in all the politically correct, socially conscious
bullshit in the script. The girls here simply emulate
the adults around them, and yet, because they are
"so young," it isn't acceptable for them to do this.
To add insult to injustice, the heroine's brother
is allowed to run around, get high and do as he pleases
with little or no consequence. It is obvious that
this tripe was written by a 13-year-old girl. This
script is about as subtle as a boot in the ass.
If there is any reason to recommend
"Thirteen," and there really isn't, it's the performance
given by Holly Hunter. She does her best work in ten
years here. But since she produced this crud, one
has to negate any good qualities she adds to the film.
It's not nice to produce a film and then give yourself
the only realistic role. Hunter should have had the
balls to demand a much more daring and unique script.
Most of the stuff we see here seems lifted straight
out of "Kids" (yes I said it again) and "Sarah T:
Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic." It's manipulative
and sophomoric.
Much like a thirteen year old girl.
Note:
With Evan Rachael Wood, Jeremy Sisto,
Brady Corbet, Kip Pardue, and Deborah Unger.
Co-written by Nikki Reed, who plays
Evie, although in reality the character of Tracy is
based more on her.
Co-written and directed by Catherine
Hardwicke who won Best Director at Sundance 2003.
Music by Mark Mothersbaugh (of Devo).
Viewed in Austin in September 2003
with Christian.
