"Swordfish" is so repulsive and idiotic that it actually lynches a black woman in one of it's numerous supposed climaxes. This film is so greasy slick as to be nauseating. Watching the talented actors in the film try to make a decent piece of crap out of this garbage pile of a script is so sorrowful, one loses the sense of taste. Worse yet is Dominic Sena's direction; the hack thinks he's directing an ad for a new car or something, not a feature film.

This is another one of those oh so despicable films that suckles at the teat of Tarantino. Not only does Sena cast Travolta to play Vincent Vega, his character from the classic "Pulp Fiction," but the film begins with Vega, I mean Travolta, discussing a film. In this case it's "Dog Day Afternoon" as Travolta's character, Gabriel (the angel of doom), spoonfeeds us the pop culture pabulum scripter Skip Woods has regurgitated. Woods thinks he's so damn clever and witty. He is a fucking hack. The guy does not have one original idea here. This film seems familiar from the first frame because Woods has ripped off every bloated pop culture film from the past decade.

This is one of those repulsive and oily films that has numerous killings and explosions, often in slo-mo or in that "Matrix" 360 cam slo-mo. It makes me gag that the actors here allowed themselves to be cajoled, presumably by a big fat paycheck, into doing this sickening film. Hell, Halle Berry is such a piece of meat here that she snagged an extra half- mil just for popping out her tits. Sure, they are nice tits but this script devolves her to the point of Masser's fav'rite house nigger breeding stock. She is nothing more than a cunt, a black piece of meat here. It's repulsive.

Worse yet is Don Cheadle in a role that reprises his work from "Traffic." At least he's not forced to play a hoodlum anymore. Cheadle is such an awesome actor. Is he just not getting picked for meaty roles or is he just incapable of picking a good one? He actually has to say here, I am not kidding, "Eat a dick." Is that not the stupidiest fucking line ever? Who wrote this film? A 12 year old?

If your a twelve year old boy, or just have the IQ of one, who is experiencing his first-ever hard-on, then "Swordfish" is aimed right at your crotch. If you have a brain or any sort of decent taste whatsoever, this film will make you ill. It's what we used to call "bogus" back in the day. A slick, Hollywood, film school puke pile.

Note:

Also with Hugh Jackman (not a porn name), Vinnie Jones, and Sam Sheppard.

The Nepotism Factor: Several folks with the last name Travolta play hostages.

Score by Paul Oakenfold, whose idea of dramatic punch is to plug in the sting from the end of the Beatles "A Day in the Life" at every climactic moment. Also with music by Christopher Young and a pop song by Madonna.

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