If you want to see people living on the edge – I mean really living on the fucking edge, man, then “The Smith Family” is the movie for you. This is life, man, raw, real, full-frontal, unvarnished life. This is life on the fucking edge. You will not see a movie more raw, more nervy, more eyes wide open. This is it.

When I tell you that “The Smith Family” is about a family of devout Mormons trying to keep it together, you laugh right. No shit. I'm serious. That's what this documentary is about. But dig this: The dad is gay. The dad has AIDS. We’re not talking about “living with AIDS;” we’re talking full-blow, Beneton ad AIDS. We’re talking skinny, skeletal, walking dead AIDS. The mom is HIV positive. She is “living with HIV” though. It’s hard to believe she is sick. She looks healthy and is an amazing woman. The couple, the now openly gay man and his wife, have two teenage sons. One is going to Mexico for his missionary service. The other is in high school. The church, the neighbors, the grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, all know, of course, what is going on.

The father here, Steve, is often made the villain in the film. Why? Because he is gay and hid his sexuality from his wife. Because he had gay sexual relationships, got AIDS and transmitted the disease to his wife, he is often considered a bad person by this film. That is forgivable only because the film is made by a woman and is told from the point of view of the mother/wife, Kim. Kim is a remarkable woman, she is every-wife, every-mother. We grow to love her in this movie and see what an exceptional, wonderful, loving and strong woman she is. So often she reminded me of my own mother. Kim chooses to stay with Steve. She makes the hard choice.

Part of this is due to the fact that she is Mormon. Mormons do not divorce. But part of this is also because she loves Steve and she loves her family. Still, the film allows her to splay her emotions all over the screen and we see Kim as both strong and vulnerable, both true and angry, both loving and bitter. Director Tasha Oldham builds an incredible bond between herself (i.e. her camera) and Kim. The wife and mother trusts Oldham, trusts the camera, and, even in a way, trusts the audience, to understand her choice, her faith, her heart and her spirit. Her loving nature radiates out of this film like sunlight. She is a beautiful woman.

This film evokes so many strong emotions. Watching Kim and the two sons, Parker and Tony, love this man dying of AIDS is heartbreaking. Not only do we see the beauty in family and the beautiful struggle this family goes through as Steve dies. But we see the struggle of dying of AIDS. This film is a film about people living every day as if it is the last. Every day is a milestone. Every day is a new challenge and an obstacle to overcome. And, as it is in all families, these milestones are measured in little and big moments. Christmas 1999, New Years Day 2000, Tony going to his missionary service. We watch this family struggle to make the day by day and struggle to make the moments. It is breathtaking.

Watching Steve LIVE through these important moments, often almost too weak to walk, is amazing! Watching his family love him. Watching his family and seeing that they know he is dying. These are monumental moments. And the sad idea that so many gay men died of AIDS with no family, no love, sweeps over you like waves of raw pain. This film focuses the fact that every day could be the last. A truly amazing and unfathomable moment comes when Tony, his teenage body buff and muscular, carries his father, the skeletal man, nothing but skin and bones and gaping eyes, up the stairs to his bedroom. It is… words cannot describe what an image like this makes you feel.

The story is told, in many ways, in flashbacks of sorts. Although the film begins when Steve is very sick, the story of his relationship with Kim, their marriage, the birth of their children, their careers and their religion is told in a flashback via old photographs and old home videos. Here we see Steve as the virile young man that he once was. This image, juxtaposed against his present façade is made even more crystal clear when his (healthy) twin brother comes and the two stand side by side.

Steve journey is important to the film, although it is told from Kim’s POV and, so, Steve talks about his coming to terms with his homosexuality and how that affected his marriage, his family, his faith and his life. Kim explains that when Steve was healthier, he spent hours on the computer in chatrooms talking to other (traditionally) married gay men and other gay Mormon men. A really surprising moment in the film comes when Kim, Steve and their son Parker go to a gay pride parade. Tony, the older brother, opts not to go, which causes the younger Parker to call him a “wuss.” In these moments Parker’s strength is phenomenal. In many way he reminds one of Steve Couzel, the straight Boy Scout who fights for the inclusion of gays in that organization. Parker’s love for his parents is beautiful and his acceptance of his situation is inspiring. "We’ve been dealt these cards and we’re going to play them,” he quips. He has only the unvarnished truth of youth to guide him and it does not fail him or the family.

“The Smith Family” cuts with an undercurrent of death that elevates it to the most supreme of life affirming movies. This is a remarkable film. Oldham has proved herself not only a brilliant documentarian but also a very good filmmaker. Although her film skews the POV to that of the wife, it nonetheless provides a valuable life lesson about the power of family and faith.

Note:

Oldham began by making a documentary about women in the Mormon faith but switched her focus on this one woman after meeting the family. She shot over 120 hours of film.

Seen at SXSW 2002.

Report Card Content: A+ Completeness: B+ Cinematography\Lighting: B+ Special Effects\Make Up: C Music: C Final Grade: A+

And Help Support Filethirteen! Get Your "The Smith Family" Stuff... Search: All Products Books Popular Music Classical Music Video DVD Toys & Games Baby Computer & Video Games Electronics Software Tools & Hardware Outdoor Living Kitchen & Housewares Camera & Photo Wireless Phones Keywords: