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The Pagemaster - It's message is simple: A book opens up a whole new world to the reader. What could be a better message?

Palindromes - Solondz takes the brutality and angst of youth and turns it into a poem of honesty and truth.

The Pallbearer - Tries too damn hard to be the "The Graduate" of the 90's.

Palmetto - Could have made a masterpiece with what he had to work with here.

Panic in Year Zero! - Talk about a misnomer!

Panic Room - If you dig Hitchcock, Fincher and/or Foster, you will not be disappointed.

Paper Clips - Isn't so much about the Holocaust, its horrors and its survivors as it is about children.

Paragraph 175 - It does open a door to a deep and troubling history that we, as gay men and lesbians, must explore and remember.

Particles of Truth - An interesting film that is often torn asunder by its typical ideas and its vehement hatred of men.

Party Monster - Culkin is the main reason anyone who is anyone in the world of all that glitters wants to see "Party Monster.

A Passage to Ottawa - Subtle, smart, funny and poignant, the film is really well written and well crafted.

Passing Stones - Some of the most dynamic and hilarious and unique characters to grace the screen.

The Passion of the Christ - This is a movie for fucking morons. Idiots who can't understand how horrific the crucifixion was.

The Patriot - Has one glaring error: It has no spirit. Certainly not the spirit of 76.

Paulie - This is a really cute and sweet and funny movies for kids. It's also sweet and touching and witty movies for adults.

Pauly Shore is Dead - Offers us a vision of the "15 minutes of fame" rule run amuck.

Paycheck - The film looks like it cost all of a buck-80 to produce.

Pay It Forward - It could be one of the most magical, evocative, beautiful films ever made. But it's got one problem: It's directed by one of the biggest hacks to be allowed behind a camera, Mimi Leder.

Pearl Harbor - World War Boooooo!

Pecker -"Pecker" is a semi-autobiographical love-letter Waters has written to himself.

Pedestrian - "Pedestrian" not only means someone walking through the streets on foot but also, as my "Synonym Finder" states, "spiritless, lifeless, tiresome and uninspired."

Perfect Little Man - Pulls out every overused cliche and every stupid plot trick and somehow manages to put them in the film in a way that you don't expect. Still, the film is an atrocity.

A Perfect Murder - What we get is likable and fairly interesting fare thanks mainly to the three stars in the film and a pretty good script.

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer - Is a decent film when all is said and done.

Peter Pan - So, the story is ridiculous and incomprehensible but it looks cool right? Well, no.

The Phantom - This watered-down "Indiana Jones" is based on the comic-strip your grandfather read in the local paper until the day he died.

The Phantom of the Opera - Imagine two hours of someone scratching their fingernails down a chalkboard while a Sheila E. album plays at full volume in the background. Now multiply that by a thousand.

Phone Booth - Begins by immediately letting you know you're in for a typical Hollywood movie.

The Pianist - It is bleak and dark and frightening and perverse.

The Piano Teacher - A film that moves slowly, trusts its own pacing and simmers, then boils, to a dramatic conclusion that is surprising and audacious.

Picasso Trigger - I thought it might be some really great, campy,old, B movie. Wrong.

Pieces of April - Could become a Thanksgiving film for the post-apocalyptic age.

Pinocchio - What the fuck was that?

Planet of the Apes - I would rather attend Tim Burton's funeral than this film. It's a laughable piece of nothing.

Plastic Utopia - Although the film is neither funny nor particularly interesting, somehow the complete absurdity of it all draws us in.

Play Dead - The gay, teenage "Weekend at Bernie's"

The Players Club - Acts as a debut for one of the more promising talents in recent memory.

Play It To The Bone - As a character film, it does have alot to offer, even if many of the ideas it gets into will be new ground for everyday avid boxing fans.

Playtime - Controlled chaos.

Pleasantville - Comedy, drama,melancholia, nostalgia, adversity... you name it - it's in there.

The Pledge - It's free form jazz style will confuse many.

Pollock - As a film is phenomenal even if it is not perfect.

The Polar Express - All aboard for creepy CGI people, contrived sentimentality and a wrong-headed Christmas message.

Polyp & Corbin Take Over - One of the most boring, slapdash, amateurish and downright masturbatory pieces of crud to ever see the light of day.

The Poor and Hungry - Cut out the beginning and end of this excessively elongated film, and somehow come up with a better, more artistic, more concise ending, you'd have a masterpiece.

Poor Little Rich Girl - Warhol's camera captured what his mind, his eyes captured in the same real/reel time.

Poor White Trash - For a film with such a promising title, "Poor White Trash" truly fails to deliver.

Population/436 - Is kind of odd yet typical, a strange combination.

Possession - It is, perhaps, the most romantic heterosexual movie I have seen in quite some time.

The Postman - A charming, subtle romantic, sweet ode to life,love, femininity and poetry.

Practical Magic - It's cute, clever, funny and sweet.

A Prairie Home Companion - Fans of Altman will get just what they are hankering for.

Pretty As A Picture - While a documentary about David Lynch should be anything but ordinary, filmmaker Toby Keeler rambles way too much here to make this piece as riveting as it should be.

Prey for Rock and Roll - Don't pray for this movie. it's not worth it.

Pride and Prejudice - Fantastic, authentic, realistic, compelling and romantic.

Primal Fear - Soon falls into typical courtroom drama antics, thanks mainly to the lackluster script.

Primary Colors - We're down in the trenches going through the paradoxes and the disappoints with the characters. We experience all of it. And it's taxing.

Prime - A relationship and family comedy that stands head and shoulders above most in the genres.

Primer - "Primers" time-travel, box-within-a-box-within-a-box construct is enough to give even the most clear-headed Zen Buddhist a headache.

The Prince of Pennsylvania - Weird and flawed low-budget independent film written and directed by the openly gay Ron Nyswaner.

Prince of Egypt - Maybe it's all just too much for kids.

The Princess Blade - Had me captivated from the very first scene.

The Princess Diaries - Sometimes I'm just a big ole girl. Pass me a tissue.

Privates on Parade - The musical numbers come out of nowhere and they only serve to break up the tedium of the unintelligible plot.

The Producers - This film makes one long for the fabulously silly glory days of Mel Brooks.

The Professional - Much to my dismay, the film falls apart towards the end and becomes a soppy, action picture that expends too much effort trying to appease American sensibilities.

A Promise Kept - A horrible, badly filmed, badly acted, and badly written film that has so many bad ideas per second it nearly sets a record.

Proof - Seems much more suited to the stage than the movies.

P.S. - Has enough humor and sweetness as well as reality within it to make it worth watching.

Psycho(1998) - The question that nags about Gus Van Sant's shot-for- shot remake of Alfred Hitchcock's classic thriller is Why?

Psycho Beach Party - While one, at first glance, might think the film isn't "gay" enough, further reflection makes this thought seem an unfair initial response.

Pucker Up - Is there anything more annoying than some absent-minded idiot sitting next to you whistling away?

The Puffy Chair - We know we are seeing one of the greatest performances ever captured in a low-budget film and the feeling of discovery is palpable.

Pulp Fiction - Much more than a sum of it's otherwise extraordinary parts.

Pumping Velvet - This isn't a person, it's a garbage dump of dysfunction.

Pumpkin - This is probably the first true black comedy I have ever seen.

Punch Drunk Love - Is one of the most extraordinary films you will ever see.

Punks - Is without a doubt the most fun gay movie to come along since "Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert."

Puppy - Delusional: A Love Story.

Pushing the Envelope - Not only is the title a gigantic misnomer, but there is nothing surrealistic nor thrilling about the film.

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