Pinocchio (2002) (AKA Roberto Benigni's
Pinocchio)
If you want your child to learn the
F-word, take them to see Roberto Benigni's "Pinocchio."
Oh, not because the famous Italian director's film
is an intentional corruptor of children; it's rated
G. But even the youngest, most sheltered child, upon
seeing this glorious mess of a film will utter aloud,
upon leaving the theater, "What the fuck was that?"
What's a film company to do? Mirimax
was more than pleased to have any film Benigni made
after his widely beloved (and massive grossing) "Life
is Beautiful" was the hit of the season a few years
ago. When Benigni announced that he was going to do
"Pinocchio," their eyes must have lighted up with
dollar signs. After all, the celebrity of Benigni
was, by now, almost legendary due to the fact that
his wild, crazy, uninhibited and, dare I say, child-like
exuberance became so obvious at the Oscar ceremonies
in 1999. Benigni was so popular he even rated his
own "Saturday Night Live" skit. (Guest host Ray Romano
played him hilariously).
Three years later in 2002, Mirimax
execs were surely scratching their heads at what to
do with "Pinocchio," a children's fantasy in Italian.
The film is for children and aimed squarely at children,
but it's in Italian. Kids in America don't speak Italian.
They barely speak English! Subtitles aren't an option,
as kids can barely speak English, let alone read it!
What to do; what to do? There was only one answer:
Dub it.
After all, hadn't that been the
answer for years. Kids movies from foreign countries,
especially prior to the video age, were always dubbed
into English. So Mirimax dubbed the film. But in a
move that can only be regarded as asinine, they picked
the worst possible voices for nearly every character
in the film, especially Benigni.
Benigni speaks English fairly well.
Did they even try to get him to dub his own dialogue?
Answers are hard to find. But Mirimax opted to pick
the most incongruous, ridiculous and stupid voice
imaginable for the part: Breckin Meyer. Now, I love
Meyer; he's cute as can be and I've noticed his work
since he did "Freddy's Dead." But his voice coming
out of Benigni's mouth is so ridiculous as to move
beyond absurd and become hilarious. It is the dumbest,
most inane, most horrible thing Mirimax could have
done with this film. They take what could be a delightful
fantasy and turn it into a inept, asinine, ludicrous,
horrible mess. Every luscious frame of this film will
make you cringe when Meyer's "Hey, dude" California
surfer's voice magically spews from Benigni's notorious
face. What a sad state of affairs, indeed.
It is impossible to appreciate anything
in "Pinocchio" because of this. The visuals can be
stunning but if they aren't being ripped to shreds
by Meyer's incongruous voice popping out of the speakers,
then they are being distracted from as the adult audience
plays a guessing game as to who's voice they are hearing.
Isn't that Topher Grace? Isn't that Queen Latifah?
That's definitely Regis Philbin. And so on and so
on.
Will this disturb kids? Well, truth
be told, "Pinocchio" isn't really for kids. Benigni
has made the film his own and American kids just won't
appreciate his antics or the visual tenacity of the
film. They will be scratching their head trying to
figure out how this man older than their parents is
suppose to be a boy. Even if the opening narration
(in English) suggests that we are visiting a magical
place where a "boy can appear to be a man" just like
"adults can act like children." I'm not saying kids
are stupid. I'm not. But kids are too smart and too
worldly in this time of Disney proliferation to ever
fall for this kind of weird and confusing dubbed Italian
kids films. Hell, we knew films like that were crap
when we were kids too. We only watched them because
they played on Saturday mornings at the local (one-
screen) theater and we could go hang out with our
friends and goof off. Those days are long gone, my
friend.
And then, of course, there's the
idea of the bouncy, idiotic, Benigni as a supposed
puppet. He doesn't even look like a puppet. He looks
like Roberto Benigni in an Italian clown's costume.
(I can't remember the name for these. You know, Bowie
wore one on the cover of "Scary Monsters" and in the
video for "Ashes to Ashes"). He looks ridiculous.
And while his bouncy, bouncy, goofball antics may
be recognizable to adult fans (but not really appreciated
by them), they will seem stupid to children. The story
of "Pinocchio" is one that kids will find magical
for years to come. The fact that it is Italian (the
story's native language) makes the failure of this
film even more heartbreaking. Mirimax is no Disney.
If you want to be cinematic about
it, I suppose you could say that this film attempts
to harken back to a more innocent age of children's
films. It pays homage, in a weird and perhaps even
unintentional way, to all those foreign kid's movies
we saw as children. Trouble is, when it harkens, nobody's
home.
Hopefully the DVD of this film will
offer subtitles and dubbed and non-dubbed options
so that the viewer will be allowed to decide if he
or she wants dubbed voices or not. I'm betting they
won't. Hey, you could rent the DVD, play it in Italian
with English subtitles and then read it to your kid.
It's a whole new teaching tool: Hooked on Benigni.
Note:
Also with the voices of John Cleese,
Glenn Close, Eddie Griffin, Cheech Marin (without
a Mexican accent!), Eric Idle, Jim Belushi, and Kevin
James.
Also with Nicoletta Braschi (aka
Mrs. Benigni).
Script by Benigni and Vincenzo Cerami.
Based on the 1880's novel by Carlo Collodi. English
dub dialogue by Brendan Donnison whose previous work
was mainly voice casting for ADR looping.
Released in Italy in October 2002
and on Christmas day in the U.S.
Disney's animated "Pinocchio" was
released in 1940. An interesting anecdote: Disney
hired several midgets to "frolic" in Pinocchio costumes
on top of the marquee when the film opened. At lunch,
someone brought the diminutive actors lunch and some
alcoholic refreshment. Before long, all of them were
naked and frolicking drunkenly in public view. The
police were called and they were arrested and removed
in pillow cases.
Viewed in December 2002 in Austin.
