Rainbow
Child (2001)
Wannabe filmmaker Adrian Salsgiver must spend most
of his evenings kissing a mirror. I have seen a lot
of self- indulgent, egotistical crap on screen in my
day but this film sets a new standard for the mode.
Worse yet, the film, and I call it that while laughing
at the very notion that this might be a "film," is sloppy,
pointless and rather dull.
Salsgiver has lots of old footage of himself from
the 70's, when he was a stone fox. He has old 8mm footage,
glorified home movies really, of himself with Warhol
superstar Holly Woodlawn. There is also footage of him
and another guy driving around in a car. And there is
a plethora of footage of him rigging heroin naked. Some
of these, especially the heroin scenes, are filmed quite
well but they just go on and on and on yet go nowhere.
There is at least five minutes of the naked youth with
a needle in his arm. It's ridiculous.
Salsgiver intercuts these pointless scenes with more
recent video footage of himself on stage at some sort
of gay pride type gathering. He tries to provide a thread
for the footage by talking about his past and what a
cute little piece of ass he used to be. There are lots
of really hot pictures of Salsgiver as a teenager looking
very sexy and very much a hustler. But instead of an
erotic charge, we feel like we're voyeurs into one man's
obsession with his past self. You get the feeling that
if Salsgiver could go back and fuck himself when he
was 15 he would be the happiest guy on the planet.
Even the music here is annoying. Salsgiver uses lots
of old school disco, classic rock and punk tunes that
he obviously has not secured the rights for. The Ramones
figure very prominently in the mix, as do the Sex Pistols.
But the editing and sound design on the film is so amateur,
so choppy and slapdash that it soon becomes annoying,
like riding in a car with a cokehead who consistently
switches the channels on the radio.
"Rainbow Child" ends, albeit not soon enough, with
some sort of plea to vote by Salsgiver on stage at the
aforementioned rally. The film tries to be sexy and
have a message. This is stupid. This is a film by a
dizzy queen. Worse, it is a "film" by an ex-hustler
who wishes he could still by out on the street selling
his teenage ass. "Rainbow's Child" is Salsgiver's big
sloppy wet-kiss to himself. Masturbatory drivel at it's
worse.
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Report
Card
Script:
F
Acting: N/A
Cinematography\Lighting: D
Special Effects\Make Up:D
Music: F
Final
Grade: F
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