The Phantom of the Opera (2004)
Imagine two hours of someone scratching
their fingernails down a chalkboard while a Sheila
E. album plays at full volume in the background. Now
multiply that by a thousand and you've got a pretty
good idea of the bombastic, pretentious, annoying,
and cacophonous mess that is Joel Schumacher's "The
Phantom of the Opera."
I'll be the first to admit that
I have never seen this musical on stage and I have
never heard the music in any other form either. Perhaps
since the play was a big 80's stage hit it is only
natural that the film be like some sort of Prince
music video featuring Apollonia in Victoria's Secret
lingerie. Perhaps it is only natural that the music
have a drum machine pumped up to full volume. Maybe
this is an homage to the original play. Regardless,
if it is, then this is a "for fans only" film. There's
nothing interesting or unique to prompt a newly christened
viewer of the film into enjoying the play or the music.
Both are nothing short of annoying.
Apparently this guy Michael Crawford
must have been quite sexy and charming as the titular
Phantom on stage. I recall all the hype about him
when the play was a huge Broadway hit. But the guy
who plays the role in the film, Gerard Butler, is
simply horrid. I don't know if the stage direction
suggests that the performer playing The Phantom sing
the songs as if one side of his face is disfigured
and therefore it should seem as if the character had
a recent stroke but that's how Butler portrays the
character here. His singing voice is ho-hum to begin
with but when he spits out many of the lines from
one side of his mouth, the effect becomes nearly laughable.
It's like seeing "A Recent Stroke: The Musical"
In fact, there was a lot of snickering
at the film when I saw it on opening day. The group
of teenagers sitting behind me laughed all the way
through the film and I often had to join in with them.
This film is so ridiculous and Godawful that laughter
is often the appropriate response to what is happening
on the screen. Overacted and overblown, the film is
an exercise in excesses that simply cannot work.
Schumacher is a hack. Here, working
on the idea that this is some sort of version of "Beauty
and the Beast" myth, his only interesting idea seems
to be to rip-off Cocteau's
version of that story and have live arms holding
torches in a hallway emulating the famous scene in
the artist's 1946 film. That's it. There's nothing
else interesting or original going on here. It's all
quite ho-hum.
The only interesting thing one can
do in this film is sit around and wonder if the actors
on the screen are truly singing their own parts. And
that game gets pretty boring pretty quickly. (For
what it is worth, everyone does but Minnie Driver).
There's no one to like here and no one to root for.
Butler as the Phantom, as apparently suggested in
the original play, is little more than a crazed stalker.
We can't figure out what young ingenue Christine (Emmy
Rossum) sees in him. There's a scene early in the
film where he somehow hypnotizes her and drags her
to his underground lair (apparently it's a sewer that
doesn't stink as no one seems to mind going down there)
but this doesn't explain why she continues to be interested
in the guy after the trance evaporates. This guy can't
even illicit our pity let alone our sympathy. And
Rossum certainly does nothing to help us understand
what is going on here. She's rarely little more than
a girl in titillating lingerie. How can we root for
her when she seems to be in love with her obviously
mentally challenged psycho stalker? Even more useless
is Patrick Wilson as her suitor, Raoul. This guy is
so bland we almost understand why being with a deformed,
crazed stalker who lives in a sewer seems like a viable
option.
There is one performance here that
is fun and that comes from Driver as the diva. The
actress seems to realize that this film is just a
big piece of dung and decides to have herself a good
ole time being over-the-top. It's too bad everyone
else in the film doesn't adapt the same ideology.
If this film were done as pure camp it just might
be enjoyable. As it is, it's nothing more than a gigantic,
loud thud, the sound of a big piece of shit hitting
the not-so- silver screen.
Notes:
Schumacher wrote the script with
Webber. The play is based on a Gaston Leroux novel
that has been filmed many times in many incarnations.
At one time the film was to be called
"Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera."
The film is nominated for three
Golden Globes: Best Film Musical or Comedy, Best Song
and Best Actress Musical or Comedy for Rossum.
The play was set to be made into
a film in the 90's with stage actors Crawford and
Sarah Brightman (aka Mrs. Andrew Lloyd Webber) reprising
their roles. This fell through when the couple divorced.
Condsidered for The Phantom: John
Travolta and Antonio Banderas.
Considered for Christine: Keira
Knightley, Katie Holmes, Anne Hathaway.
While Rossum is a singer who appeared
in the amazing film "Songcatcher",
Butler had never sung before in a role. Schumacher
was so impressed with his work in "Dracula 2000" that
he hired him to play the role here.
Filmed in England.
Viewed in Austin in December 2004.
