Orgy of the Dead (1965)

"The first film that Eddie and I made together. We had problems with Criswell. Eddie tried to help because he felt personally responsible. Criswell didn't know his lines and the son of a gun gets an entourage around him. You can see in the picture that he's reading, looking below the camera to where poor Eddie's sitting with the cue cards.

"The greatest satisfaction I received was when we screened (the film) and Criswell started to cry. He said, 'You made me look so regal.' And I did, the son-of-a-bitch." - Stephen Apostolof Director 

Imagine, if you can, a film that combines 22 minutes of Ed Wood Jr's inane dialogue with 60 minutes of topless titty dancers circa 1965. This weird amalgamation is "Orgy of the Dead." 

After Wood's film fiascoes in the 50's he worked mainly as a writer through the 60's. He wrote several movies for Producer/Director A. C. Stephens (real name: Stephen C. Apostolof). Stephens made soft core porn films for the "Pussycat Theater" circuit. The first film they made together was 1965's "Orgy of the Dead." 

Like Wood's other films, this one begins with Criswell rising from his coffin to open the film. Throughout the piece he plays The Emperor (presumably of the dead) who, during full moons, demands to be amused by dead performers. Criswell thunders his hollow requests to be entertained, and apparently his idea of really good entertainment is dead, topless, titty dancers. 

Also along for plot-glue are Bob (William Bates) and Shirley (Pat Barringer) portraying a horror writer and his bitchy, apparently brain dead, girlfriend. Bob has to go to a cemetery (on a foggy night with a full moon no less) to get inspiration for his writing. At the cemetery gates they have a horribly phony car wreck and are forced to watch "The Orgy of the Dead" (i.e. dead topless titty dancers - some orgy.) 

What is amazing about "Orgy" is that Apostolof hired Wood to write the script, the dialogue is so bad - so typically Wood. But judging by this film, Apostolof wasn't that great of a director himself. Like "Plan 9," Apostolof shows us the writer and Shirley the Bitch's car driving on a mountainous road during the daylight, yet their close-up scenes are against a pure black backdrop, as if it is pitch black night. Apostolof also hired the worst actors possible. Bates is decidedly horrible but it is Barringer's Shirley that is incredibly bad. Lover's of Wood-esque bad acting will find plenty to love here.

Of course, Apostolof's real intent was to make a "Pussycat" film. But the 10 big-hipped, topless dancers here are so lame, so incredibly dull that it's impossible to imagine any heterosexual male getting an erection during these flaccid performances (pun intended.) Only one of the dancers is supposedly a zombie and yet all 10 dancers perform as if they are walking dead. It is really a dreadful spectacle to witness.

A couple of notes about Wood; he also acted as a production assistant and a casting director for a lot of this film. This is obvious. Also, Wood, who was a transvestite, liked to be called Shirley and there are a lot of characters named Shirley's in his books and films. Finally, one should note the appearance of Wood's friend John Andrews here as The Wolfman. 

Throughout the film, the dead dancers each have a theme, yet none of this enlivens the film. The first dancer's theme was fire, ("She died in fire and will forever dance in fire") yet there is little fire on the screen. The second is a hooker who will forever walk the street. The third dancer worshipped gold above all else and 2 slave boys shower her in gold as she dance's (Criswell hilariously yells: "Throw gold at her!" "More gold!" etc.) The gold dancer (also played by Barringer - who has the biggest tits of all the dancers by the way) is finally immersed in gold paint.

The forth woman is dressed in a stupid cat outfit and a slave boy whips around the set with a felt whip. (Criswell: "Cat's are born to be whipped!") Next is the slave girl who is lamely whipped with a cat-o-nine-tails before she peels and dances. (Criswell: "torture, torture, It pleases me!") We also have to sit through a Spanish girl, a honeymoon killer, the supposed zombie girl, and finally a girl who worshipped "feathers, furs and fluff." 

"Orgy of the Dead" is pure Wood camp. Unfortunately you have to sit through these lame titty dancers to get to the goldenly delicious bad dialogue and horrible acting. Still the 22 minutes of Wood here is pure and perfect.

Notes: John Andrews on Pat Barringer: "She thought she was going to be a big fucking star. She couldn't even scream and make it convincing. And those tits are plastic, by the way. The film began as an 18 page script called "Nudie Ghoulies." In it there was no wolfman or mummy character. Criswell's character was originally called "The Skull," a caped figure with a skull where the head should be. The film was also, at times, known as "Ghouls and Dolls" and "Orgy of the Damned." 

The uncredited score is by Jamie Mendoza-Nava who conducts the Chilean Symphony Orchestra. 

The cape Criswell wears is Bela Lugosi's cape from "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein."

Report Card

Script: F

Acting: F

Cinematography\Lighting: F

Special Effects\Make Up: F

Music: F

Final Grade: F