Open House (2004)
When your a independent filmmaker,
shooting in digital and having limited acting and
sound design resources at your disposal, you have
to have a sense of your limitations. That last thing
you would want to do in this situation is make a musical
and try and do the songs live. It would be problematic
to say the least and probably hopelessly bad, something
you wouldn't want to unleash on an audience. But that's
exactly what filmmaker Dan Mirvish does here. And
he fails miserably. This film has so many problems
with visuals and sound that it is nearly unwatchable.
Not to mention the bad songs. It
is about 2/3rd of the way through the movie before
the music seems to change and we get to hear something
besides people singing "Do you love this house? I
love this house." It drones on over and over for ages
and gets so annoying.
The film is a convoluted mess about
a couple played by hottie James Duval (who at least
shows some skin here to keep us interested) and Kellie
Martin (from TV's Down Syndrome uplifting downer "Life
Goes On") who go househunting and enjoy having sex
at open houses. The first house they look at is being
presented by Anthony Rapp ("Dazed and Confused").
Meanwhile a jewel thief hides in the house they are
looking at while a male/female cop team look for him.
The cops are also having an affair.
But wait, there's more.
When the young couple go to a second
house where Sally Kellerman is the realtor, they meet
up with another couple. And in an even more confusing
turn of events, Martin has supposedly once been involved
with the male of that couple, played by Brandon Williams
who initiated her to open house sex and petty theft.
Confused. It's okay, it's really not important to
keep up with the plot here. It's too fucking futile.
And if you think all of this is
incomprehensible, wait until you get to the climactic
third act. Things really get confusing and stupid
at the end of this plot. Rapp's character does a turn
around that will have you scratching your head so
hard, you'll draw blood.
While the script is bad, the lighting
design flawed, the camera work shoddy, the editing
hackneyed, and the songs hardly more than one hook
ditties that would be laughed off the stage at off-off-off
Broadway, it is the singing that kills this film.
Martin is awful. Duval is only enjoyable because he
is so cute and so miscast. And the rest aren't worth
mentioning except for a couple of exceptions.
Anthony Rapp, who has done plenty
of singing on stage actually has a nice song at the
end of the film that almost makes one a bit emotional.
Rapp has a beautiful voice and somehow makes it work
even at the end of this tapering piece of shit. And
a mid-film song by Sally Kellerman, who uses her inability
to carry a tune to her advantage, also makes for a
nice moment. But overall this film is so terrible
and so annoying, like fingernail on a chalkboard,
that its hard to imagine anyone but a saint sitting
though it without cringing.
Well, a saint or someone who wants
to suck up to Mirvish because the want to get their
film or script into Slamdance.
Note:
Also with Ann Magnuson.
The film features all singing done
live on film.
At least the 12th film or TV show
to have this title according to The Internet Movie
Database.
Viewed in October 2004 as a part
of the Austin Film Festival at the Dobie Theater.
