Adam Sandler is already a has-been. Sony and New Line actually had the gall to release this piece of crap on the unsuspecting summer audience. "Ah fuck 'em," the studio bigwigs seem to be saying, "It's got Sandler in it, it'll make a shitload of cash." Perhaps they are overestimating the stupidity of the American public. Perhaps not.

The story here, based on a story that has become stereotype, is some of the most trite and unimaginative stuff we've seen in a long time. A remake of a 1936 Frank Capra film "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town," the plot has Sandler as a small-town guy with a heart of gold who inherits 40 billion dollars. Of course, corrupt news reporter Winona Ryder fools him and then falls in love with him. Of course, he figures out her deceit around the same time she decides to tell him everything. Of course, they live happily ever after. Blech. After the Coen's deconstructed this genre in "Hudsucker Proxy," it became as dead as Thomas Edison.

Worse yet is the use of John Turturro as a butler. Turturro is a master thespian. Why he decided to waste his time in this ridiculous stinky crap is anyone's guess. Perhaps the paycheck was good. Turturro has to contend with a ridiculous scene where Sandler is shown to have really bad frostbite on one foot. Of course, he never limps during a single frame of the film or shows any other sign of duress, even when Turturro puts a fireplace poker clean through his foot. It's stupid as fuck.

Steve Buscemi is wasted here. If he and Rob Schneider turn up in one more Sandler film, I'm going to vomit. Jared Harris looks like crap and does about as much to make things better as a pile of crap could. Peter Gallagher tries to be funny and does not succeed. His greasy, smarmy rich guy is just dull, dull, dull. But nothing is as frustrating as watching Sandler mug his way through this shitty film, as if he had talent or humor or anything like star quality. It is really revolting. What pomposity. What an insult to his fans. He isn't even trying here. It pisses me off.

Conchata Ferrell has the only funny moment in the film when she gets to knock the shit out of Winona Ryder. I laughed at that. It looks like she really waylays her younger costar until you notice how bulky the male stunt double looks in the pink sweater that Winona had just been wearing. Ryder does nothing here. She's worse than Sandler. She never once stops being Winona Ryder. It's becoming increasingly more difficult to like her.

And like everyone here, including Buscemi, Sandler, scripter Tim Herlihy and Director Stephen Brill, she is on autopilot. No one but Turturro and Ferrell even try here. And why should they? Those who do try end up looking shitty by association.

"Mr. Deeds" is the sorriest piece of shit to hit the theaters since "Out Cold." Sandler's next film is P.T. Anderson's "Punch Drunk Love" and then a animated Hanukkah film based on his famous song. He still has a chance or two left to redeem himself. But his chances are running out quickly. I am not amused.

Report Card Script: F Acting: F Cinematography\Lighting: D- Special Effects\Make Up: D Music: F Final Grade: F

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