The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
I can see why they called this "The
Matrix Reloaded" after watching it. It's obvious the
Wachorsky brothers are "loaded" on Hollywood power.
They make this film as if they were suckling on the
tit of George Lucas, which is a grandiose mistake.
I know the new "Star Wars" movies make a buttload
of money but does anyone really think they are great
films? I guess it does matter to the Worshicster brothers.
They obviously are just interested in making a crapload
of cash. Fuck making a good movie!
It is obvious that the Brothers
W think George Lucas and Peter Jackson and Stanley
Kubrick and a few other directors are DA BOMB; after
all, they emulate many of these guys to obvious effect.
The most obvious is Lucas, with the film's ridiculous
plot of futuristic societies made up of weird dressing
captains and counselors and the like. Watching a tribunal
sequence in the early stages of the film is exactly
liking watching a scene out of Lucas' latter-day,
crappy "Star Wars" films. The bombastic and pretentious
pomposity of this film is just stunning in its ridiculousness.
I think the Worimsky-Korsikov brothers have been hanging
out with "Star Wars: The First Generation" star Larry
Fishburn and smoking some big fatties over at Skywalker
Ranch. (And the DJ says "Back to life... back to reality...")
It's obvious almost from the beginning
of the film that we are in for a cruddy ride. An early
"rave" sequence begins with one of the most bloated
and overtly pompous speeches by LAWRENCE Fishburn.
When he threw up his hands and yelled "Silence" during
the screening I was attending, my friends and I actually
laughed out loud. It was just so inane. But even worse
was the 10 minute music video montage that followed
that featured a bevy of muddy, underground, Woodstock
99 ravers dancing in slow-motion (with numerous muddy,
naked tits a-jiggling!) while KeaNeo and Carrie Ann
Moss fucked in the most ludicrous sex scene to be
in a Sci-Fi film since the 70's. This sequence is
pure and utter garbage and a complete waste of time.
Why did the Worchowsky brothers
waste so much time with this utterly puerile and pointless
bullshit when they should have been explaining all
the plot that has been taking place since the last
film? To point out the inequities of this, notice
the cute, young Zion dweller who has supposedly been
"saved" by KeaNeo and who wants to join the crew of
Fishburn's ship, the Somnabulist-kenezer. Who the
fuck is this kid? What the fuck is his story? The
Workorkscrew brothers don't bother to tell us. Apparently
they think we've all been on-line gathering information
and watching the "Animatrix" stuff and playing the
video games. (This film is aimed at only the most
over-zealous of fans, the ones who have adopted "The
Matrix" as their cult and religion). They think we
are as versed in the lore of "The Matrix" as the hoards
of losers who went to see "The Lord of the Rings"
fifteen times are verse in the lore of the Hobbits.
(Fifteen times! As if Peter Jackson needed more money
for food, whores and cigars!) Hello! Worcoffee brothers
- you are not Tolkein! Duh!
And what's up with KeaNeo and Moss?
They are all over each other like two dogs in heat
in this movie. In case the Whorenski brothers don't
know, lustful groping and humping on each others legs
is not an adequate depiction of real love. (Of course,
you can't explain this to brother Larry who recently
left his wife of 17 years for a professional dominatrix.
She apparently had great impact on the costume design
of the film as well. How many fucking cows had to
die for all the leather gear in this piece of shit?)
Anyway, KeaNeo and Moss break into a lustful grope
every fifteen minutes during the film. It was all
I could do to keep myself from yelling "Get a room!"
at the screen five times during the screening I attended.
Of course, latter in the film, the leather-clad duo
actually GOT a room and rutted even more maniacally.
The acting in this film is just
horrible. Then again, so is the script. Fishburn thinks
he is doing some sort of modern day Shakespeare and
delivers his lines with the intensity of a summer
stock actor whose been raised on nothing but pork
products. Keanu can't act, of course, but at least
still looks young enough to be cute even in close-up
and slo-mo. Moss is given almost nothing to do but
shoot guns and fuck Keanu. Nobody else in the cast
really matters. Jada Pinkett- Smith has even less
to do than Moss. There's some really bland stock characters
like hordes of stereotypical Asians and an albino
Milli Vanilli. A funky French guy in the middle of
the film provides some comedy relief but it certainly
doesn't fit into the film in any way, shape or form.
The script here is just horrendous.
How about that long-ass, stupefying speech given by
The Source (AKA God) in that scene at the end of the
film? This is a complete rip off of the end of "2001"
except that Kubrick said exactly the same things without
having anyone utter a single word of dialogue! The
ludicrous soliloquy we get here is so paradoxical
and such a conundrum that it would take 30 English
scholars 7 days and 7 nights to figure out exactly
what in the hell The Source is saying. It's just plain
old stupid!
The action scenes are quite good
with an extended romp between KeaNeo and several of
the Mr. Smith clones kicking the movie (finally) into
gear about 20 minutes in. It's a shame we have to
wait this long to get to a good scene. Of course,
the whole time the inane but hip looking fight is
going on we wonder why KeaNeo doesn't just fly off.
After all we've been watching him fly around like
Superman since the film started. Really, Marvel Comics
should fucking sue. This stuff is a complete rip-off
of the caped crusader. Anyway, after a stupid fight
between KeaNeo and some Asian guy ("you cannot know
someone until you fight them" - what horse shit) there's
a really cool and elongated chase sequence on the
freeway at the heart of the film that makes all the
psychobabble and theological bullshit fall to the
wayside. This scene is cool as fuck and worth every
penny of the ten bucks you spent to get in.
The best part of both "Matrix" films,
after the intense action scenes, has been the appearance
of The Oracle. Here, she is given an even bigger part
and is even more of a joy to watch. Too bad she starts
delving into the same old stupid bullshit dialogue
that has deflated this second film.
"The Matrix Reloaded" is one of
the crappiest movies I've ever seen. Wait for the
DVD and fast forward to the action scenes. Hell, you
can even play them with the sound down and put on
your own favorite music. The effect will be even more
entertaining. Unless, of course, you enjoy verbal
puzzles.
Note:
Also with Gloria Foster and Hugo
Weaving.
Pop singer Aaliyah was to play a
role before her death in a plane crash. Some of her
scenes were re-filmed. Foster, the Oracle, also died
before filming any scenes for the third installment
of the film series.
The film was sometimes referred
to "Matrix 2" before the final title was decided upon.
Filmed over a two to four year period
(depending on who you ask) along with "The Matrix
Revolutions" (Matrix 3) which is slated to be released
in November of 2003, just six months from now.
The highway scene was filmed on
a specially built 2 mile loop of freeway. Constructed
on a decommissioned naval base. The price tag for
the structure alone was over two million dollars.
Filmed in Australia and California
on a budget of 127 million dollars. The film made
more than that during it's four day opening weekend.
The film opened on a Thursday, as did "Star Wars 2."
Music by Marilyn Manson, Paul Okenfold,
Linkin Park, and Rob Zombie. Don Davis is credited
with the score.
