When I was watching "March of the Penguins," I started thinking about gay marriage. This shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone who has see the film. The documentary about the survival and mating habits of the Emperor Penguin is, at its most basic level, an homage to heterosexuality and child rearing. It's nearly impossible to think of anything but mating and marriage when you watch the film. The complete story here is nothing short of a metaphor for the typical human heterosexual experience.

When I was younger and odd and punky, I used to dress bad, not shower and have my hair all weird. I never really had a "real" job and pretty much did as I pleased. I thought people who wore ties to work were losers and promised myself I would never be one of "those" people (and, surprise, surprize, now I am). I knew that the reason people were judgemental about clothes and hairstyles and hated punk rockers and new wavers was because they were jealous (and, indeed, sometimes now I am). They had to wear suits and ties to work. They had to have their hair cut short. They had to bathe every day. Their hatred and derision of punk rockers was based in jealousy. They had set themselves up in a lifestyle they had no control over and the reason they hated people who dressed, looked or acted differently then themselves was because they didn't have the freedom to do that themselves. Yes, this is a very basic and simple assessment, but it is based in truth.

When we see the titular birds in "March of the Penguins" struggle so courageously against the harshest of conditions just to bear and raise a child to repeat the same horrific process, we see the heterosexual struggle in society. Is it any wonder, with such an intense struggle just to meet, mate and rear children in their lives, that heterosexuals begrudge gay people? In their eyes, we have it easy. We made the "easy" "choice." We decided to blow off (no pun intended) the responsibility of rearing children to fuck a different person every night. In their eyes, we are having fun, doing what they wish they were doing (fucking like rabbits with several different partners) while they have opted to "be responsible" and have careers and homes and, most difficult of all, breed and reproduce and rear children. No wonder they hate us. I'd hate someone too if they got to fuck like crazy while I had to sit home and raise a gaggle of brats.

That is why they are against gay marriage. Not because they think marriage is some sort of an "institution" or holy or something to be held in high regard. They resent us because of our supposed sexual freedom while they have been "working." They think we haven't "earned" marriage. Hey, I'd be pissed too. This is why the struggle to legitimize and legalize gay marriage is one that the gay community simply cannot win right now. Times are tough. Straight people think allowing gays to marry is like "giving" us something, something we have not earned and do not deserve simply for fucking like rabbit. Even those heterosexuals who respect and understand that gay people can be in long standing, committed relationship will be hard pressed to accept and allow gay marriage... especially if they have children. Their daily struggle to raise a family and put food on the table and put a roof over their family's head makes them unlikely to ever regard our relationships as "equal" to their own. To quote the poet Morrissey, we "just haven't earned it yet, baby."

As for the film, it is a decent movie with an interesting story to tell. Certainly the filmmakers have went to extraordinary lengths to capture this mating struggle on film (as the end credits show) in the harshest of conditions. Some of the shots are a little grainy (presumably due to the usage of the smallest, most portable recording equipment). But, then again, some of the shots are astounding and beautiful. The music is awesome and the narration by Morgan Freeman is poetic and rightfully oratorical. One of the better documentaries to be seen and rightfully a hit film.

Notes:

The film is French and began as a documentary in that language called "Le marche de l'empereur." In some English speaking areas, the title has been "The Emperor's Journey." Since the film is entirely narrated, other countries have had version dubbed into their native language, of course. However in many other versions, the story has been told with voices playing a mother, father and infant penguin.

The music in the U.S. version is by Alex Wurman. The music in the French version is more "pop" oriented.

Freeman recorded his narration for the English version in one day.

The second highest grossing documentary of all time in the U.S., sandwiched between Michael Moore's two popular docs, "Fahrenheit 9/11" at #1 and "Bowling for Columbine at #2.

The film premiered at Sundance in January of 2005 just two weeks before the French version opened in its native land. The U.S. version was picked up by Warner Independent and began a run in the summer of the same year.

Viewed in Austin in October 2005.

Report Card

Content: B+

Completeness: B-

Cinematography/Lighting: A-

Special Effects/Make Up: A+

Music: A+

Final Grade: A-