Loser (2000)

In "Loser," Paul Tannek, a naive farmboy played by "American Pie's" Jason Biggs, is given a B+ on one of his English papers by teacher Greg Kinnear. Kinnear's Professor Alcott has written the comment "trite" in big red letters next to the grade as well. If Professor Lodger were grading Amy Heckerling's "Loser," (and guess what - he is...) next to the F it would say "piece of absolute shit." Kinnear plays an asshole in this film. Guess I'm one too.

If you're idea of a good time is watching cutie Biggs get shat upon for 90 minutes, then perhaps this is the film for you. If you're not a cinematic scat freak, then perhaps it is not. This film is so horrid and so bad I can't really think of one reason to see it other than the attractive gay quality of all the boys here except Biggs. Sure, Biggs is cute too. And it's nice to see him hook up with alt_film babe Mena Suvari at the end of the 90 minute crapfest. But that isn't enough to make one want to sit through the film. Biggs is in almost every frame, and almost every frame has him looking adorable and real. I liked that, of course. I just couldn't stand to watch him stuck in this lame piece of Hollywood crud while his character gets treated like dirt all day. It got nerve-wracking and annoying. I also liked to see Thomas Sadoski as Chris and Jimmi Simpson as Noah in the film. I liked to SEE them. Having to listen to them whine or watch them also muddle through this insipid garbage as the "bad guys" was another matter. It was downright revolting. I almost puked up my second box of Butterfingers.

Writer/Director Amy Heckerling should be stopped. If anyone wonders why there aren't more female film directors, here is your answer. Here's a touch question: If you only had one bullet, who would you kill first? Heckerling, Penelope Spheeris, Lizzie Borden or Tamra Davis. These women do a horrid disservice to their gender. Their films reek. What's sad about Heckerling and Spheeris is that they, at one time at least, seemed to have some talent. Heckerling's "Clueless" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" are classics.

Someone, and perhaps it wasn't Heckerling, got hold of this film and chopped it to bits. There's several glaring continuity errors and the exposition often makes no sense at all. The characters have no motivations and the dialogue is some of the most inane junk to ever be presented on screen. This film is a complete waste of time, talent and celluloid.

Heckerling doesn't do anything worth noting here except cast cute teenage boys and attempt to rip off every teen comedy cliche throughout history. She even robs her own grave and has a doctor played by one of the guys (Brian Backer) who was in "Fast Times." He looks as old as this film feels.

Worse of all is the soundtrack of the film. Sure, I like a lot of the songs; "Teenage Dirtbag" is a great tune, and Heckerling uses Everclear's music as well as Michael Penn's "No Myth," a Cure tune, and that "She's So High" song. But it all fits far too neatly into the film's wannabee stance. In other words, it doesn't fit the film at all. It's a pop music score put in the film by the marketing department, not by anyone with any cinematic sense whatsoever. It feels cheap.

Amy Heckerling is only 46 years old but this film might have made more sense if my grandmother of 82 years directed it. Maybe it's time Heckerling stopped trying to do teen comedies (she has obviously lost touch with that reality) and perhaps does something different - anything different. "Loser" is a complete failure.

Note: Also with small roles amounting to cameos by Dan Akyroyd, Everclear, Andrea Martin, David Spade, Steven Wright, and Andy Dick.

Report Card

Script: F

Acting: D

Cinematography\Lighting: F

Special Effects\Make Up: F

Music: F

Final Grade: F