Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)
I had to look online to make sure that there weren't
two men named Steve Oedekerk and Steve Odenkirk. I guess
I got his these guys confused for years now. The comic
mind behind "Ace Ventura" and "nothing to Lose" is continuously
confused by me with David Cross and Bob Odenkirk of
"Mr. Show" fame. I won't make that mistake again. Regardless,
Steve Oedekerk will want to change his name after this
film comes out. It's a piece of complete and utter shit.
Worse yet, it's a fetid and dripping masturbatory wad
of spent cum. Oedekerk should be ashamed because he's
in control of the whole shebang. He is the man who should
be hunted and cornholed for making it. It is pretentious,
masturbatory, crap.
Initially known as "The Dubbed Action Film," Oedekerk
rips off Woody Allen here and creates a new film out
of old Kung Fu movies and new footage with his overdubbed
voice. The end credits here give you a good idea of
the amount of painstaking CGI work and blue screen effects
that had to be employed to create the film. It's nauseating
to think of the man hours and money that must have went
in to producing this odious (Steve Odious - naw) crud.
I would rather have seen this money flung out the window
of an open limo at pregnant crack addicted whores than
wasted on this shit. The amount of money wasted on this
junk will surely land Oedekerk in the eternal fire of
Hell. He'd have been better off blowing it on hookers
and coke. I know I would feel better about it.
I'm not going to waste much more of my time on
this review. I've already wasted 90 minutes of my life
sitting through this cinematic puke. Fuck you Steve
Oedekerk. Fuck you. And while I'm at it, fuck your mother.
She must have been a stupid bitch to raise such an idiot.
She must of loved you a lot (or be a retard) to have
laughed at your idiotic fart and poo-poo jokes when
you were a youngster. (How else can you explain Oedekerk's
visual masturbation here - someone somewhere must have
told him he had talent - MOM!) She should be arrested
for child abuse for allowing you to grow up to be such
a foolish prick.
"Kung Pow" is a cinematic sewage deposit of Oedekerk's
fecal imagination. This is a guy who probably masturbates
while making baby faces at himself in the mirror and
talking gibberish. Fine, Steve-O, do whatever you want
in private. But when you started jerking your pretentious
little pee-pee in public, you must be stopped. Someone
take away this idiot's career now. Give him a mirror
and a Mr. Microphone and lock him in a padded room on
a remote island where he can jerk off in solitude and
say "goo-goo" until he rubs himself red. At least then
we wont have to watch it.
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