Harry
Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
What's hotter than an 11 year old boy?
An 11 year old boy with a British accent and a magic
wand!
Kidding, I'm kidding. But, if you're
of the mind, there must be at least 10 or 20 places
in the "Harry Potter" film where you can get a giggle
out of the seemingly unintentional dirty jokes. I mean,
there is at least four or five magic wand jokes alone!
And that's about the only fun to be
had here unless you are a pre-puber, or the sort of
weirdo over 10 years old who gets into this silly treacle.
"Harry Potter" is aimed squarely at the "tweeners,"
a marketing termed coined for those be- "tween" the
ages of "kid" and "teenager." Why in the world so many
adults get into this tired and typical crap, I'll never
understand. Perhaps the books (which I am proud to say
I have never read) are far superior to the film. Nothing
here enticed me, as a newbie, other than the overt charisma
of Daniel Radcliffe as Harry. He's a real charmer, alright,
and not just in the sense of a "wizard."
Radcliffe is as cute as a bug's ear.
His smile could light up the hearts of a thousand studio
execs. And he has a real blast goofing around pretending
to be Harry. His cohorts, the equally cute Rupert Grint
and Emma Watson, as Ron and Hermione respectively, have
as much fun as well. In fact, everyone on screen seems
to have much more fun than the audience. Wonderful acclaimed
actors like John Hurt, Maggie Smith, Alan Rickman, Robbie
Coltrane, John Cleese, and Richard Harris are almost
giddy with glee at the chance to have some wicked cinematic
fun. It's almost contagious enough to zap the audience.
Almost.
The film, however, is too juvinile
and sophomoric at times to be of real interest to uninitiated
adults or cinephiles. While director Christopher Columbus
generally gives us interesting visuals, he too often
falls back on the silly fairy tale gibberish of the
source book to make a real classic film. For example,
the adoptive family of Harry, who are supposed ot be
assholes, are as fake and one-dimensional as the cardboard
cut-outs on the standees in the theater lobbies acrossed
America that promote the film. It's far too over-the-top
to be realistic yet far too dull to be "delightful."
It gets pretty boring in the first 30 minutes. It seems
to take forever for Harry to get to the Wizard's school.
An elongated sequence where Harry's adopted father hides
letters from him is not only unnecessary, it's stupid.
I mean, if this school full of "witches" can't get one
letter to one 11 year old boy, what the fuck kind of
magic can they do?
And like "Star Wars: Episode One,"
the centerpiece of the film is a ridiculous sporting
event that seems designed primarily to sell video games
to these same diminutive fans who entice parents to
shell out small fortunes on hardcover books. This game
Harry plays, called something like "quittage" (God knows
I wished they'd quit) is simply lame and ridiculous.
It's sort of a cross between Roller Derby and LaCrosse
only played on flying broomsticks. It's horrid. And
like a bad game show, the play doesn't really matter
until the last moment because the points awarded for
the final play far exceed any minor points that might
be put on the scoreboard from round one. Rubbish.
Fans of the books may have something
to delight in here but all I saw was a wasted opportunity
for true creativity and a marketing ploy almost unrivaled
in it's bold-faced audacity. All I saw was a remarksble,
fresh-faced actor who could be quite interesting in
some future challenging roles who will be, instead,
wasting his time filming a sequel to this tripe before
he grows to big for his knickers. I didn't need a magic
wand to divine that.
Note:
Also with Julie Walters, Zoe Wanamaker,
Warwick Davis, and Ian Hart.
Based on the book by J.K. Rowling.
The film runs two and one half hours,
quite long for a "childrens" film.
In England, the book was called "Harry
Potter and the Philosopher's Stone." The producers opted
to use that title in Europe and film sequences with
both phrases in the dialogue so two different edits
will exist. Fans will be on E-Bay soon trying to buy
both DVD versions.
The next film in the series, "Harry
Potter and the Chamber of Secrets," began filming before
this first film was released.
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