Gods and Generals (2003)
You know how there's those guys
who really enjoy dressing up in Civil War uniforms
and going out to cold, foggy, vacant lots in the South
and recreating the battles. Well if you're the kind
of person who likes to go WATCH Civil War recreations,
then this might be a film you would enjoy. Other than
that, you're lost. Seriously. If you're not a Civil
War buff, almost to the level of scholar, you won't
be able to make heads or tales out of what happens
in this film.
I know some things about the Civil
War. I know what they taught us in school, that is,
what I've retained through these hazy, booze-addled
years. And my mom is really into the Civil War. I've
learned a lot from her. My mom might like "Gods and
Generals," she's what you might call a Civil War buff.
She's probably be pretty disappointed that there wasn't
an appearance by Abraham Lincoln here though. He is,
at least, mentioned a couple of times.
"Gods and Generals" purports to
be a "prequel" to Gettysburg, the nearly 4 hour, 1993
epic that acts as a blueprint for this film. Writer/Director
Ronald Maxwell, who also brought us "Little Darlings,"
helms both films and makes them seemingly identical
in structure. (I'll be the first to admit I've never
seen "Gettysburg.") Both of the films are nearly 4
hours. Both of the films have a built-in intermission
for their theatrical runs. Both of the films star
Jeff Daniels, C. Thomas Howell, and Stephen Lang,
among others, who repeated appearances between the
two films.
But "Gods and Generals" should really
be called "God and Generals" because the film is borderline
Christian entertainment. Since the days of Pat Robertson
beginnings, the dogmatic Christians of America have
wisely crusaded in this country under the false banner
that they are a persecuted, anti-establishment group.
As if, somehow, Christians were a repressed minority
(even though they call themselves the Moral Majority).
This marketing ploy by televangelists out to make
a buck and pray upon the fear of middle-class white
people has been brilliant approach in allowing these
charlatans their undertaking to make themselves victims
and supposed champions for the underdogs.
Anyway, I don't know if "Gettysburg"
had this problem, but "Gods and Generals" pauses about
every 15 minutes or so in order that one of the characters
on screen can pray or pontificate about their "beliefs"
or The Bible. It gets tiresome and cumbersome. This
film often plays like Christian propaganda and we
wonder that if any of this posturing really has anything
relevant to do with the film's plot. (It rarely does).
Warner Brothers, like other studios - never ceasing
to engage in a marketing ploy, has even produced a
"Workbook" for churches where the President of the
Fuller Theological Seminar, Robert J. Mouw, encourages
congregations and their leaders, in his open letter
at the front of the book, to support the film and
take large groups to the film as part of their study
and worship. "Take time to plan a congreagation- wide
screening of 'Gods and General,'" he advocates in
this letter. It is shameful what some people will
do for money.
There is nothing remotely Christian
or significantly spiritual about "Gods and Generals."
A conversation about the morality of this film would
be as relevant as a conversation about the morality
of Tupperware. It would be pointless.
I only go on and on about this because
there is little else in the film to go on about. There's
no story, no thoughtful characters, no insightful
moments at all. Again, viewing this film is like watching
a game of Chess if you've never played the game before.
It makes no sense. There are endless scenes of groups
of re-enactors in period dress with period props coming
up over hillsides while title cards read "Jeb Gonders
52 Illinois Battalion" or some other such enigmatic
description and then there are the sfx of guns popping
and then half of them fall down and half of them look
around confused. That's a good two hours of this four
hour mess.
And that's all the battle scenes
really amount to. This isn't the verisimilitude of
Spielberg's "Saving Private Ryan." There's not a single
Goddamn moment in the film that truly related how
graphic and horrible the Civil War must have truly
been. It's a slap in the face to all those men who
experienced those horrors, much as is much of the
drunken idiocy that claims to be Civil War re-enactments
today.
The film follows Stonewall Jackson
and features, at its heart, a sub-sub-sub-plot, as
meaningless as it is irritating. One of the most grating
and Godawful child actors ever to grace the silver
screen, a young miss Lydia Jordan, appears in the
film only to die and give Lang, as Jackson, a chance
to cry on screen. Everyone else in the audience is
pretty happy she's gone. At least she won't be in
the proposed third film of the series which is announced
in a title card in the end credits, long after most
of us have gone to sleep.
The film purports to express the
beginning of the Civil War from a Southern point of
view. This is preposterous, of course, because the
film is utter nonsense. This film doesn't present
any sort of cohesive or coherent view, Southern or
otherwise. It's as nonsensical as Dr. Suess would
be if read in French to Eskimos.
Maxwell's direction is as lame as
his writing and dialogue. This pointless and nonsensical
film, salted with the wisdom of mainstream Christianity,
is impossible to follow. The dialogue is as wooden
and cheesy as any that ever graced a 50's B-film.
I was continually reminded of the dialogue in D.W.
Griffith's ridiculous biopic "Abraham Lincoln" (1930
- listed in the Medved brothers "50 Worst Films of
All Time"). When Lincoln dies, someone at his deathbed
intones, "Now he belongs to the ages." The idea that
this enduring quote was spoke on Lincoln's deathbed
is pure Hollywood poetic license of the worst kind.
Maxwell has similar moments here, throughout the film,
where real-life characters and amalgamations say things
which are obvious quotes from the era but which could
have never been uttered in the context in which they
are here. It's ludicrous and often chuckle-worthy.
With no direction and no script
to guide them, the actors here fall flat. Duvall,
as Robert E. Lee" might has well have been speaking
gibberish, or Martian, here. We can't make heads or
tails out of what he is talking about. His dialogue
is as technical and as obtuse as any medical program
on TV. He talks about the machinations of the armies
and the movement of the troops in a language that
only truly devout Civil War buff fans can comprehend.
And there you have it. Devout Christian
or devout Civil War buff, here is a film for you.
The rest of us are simply left to enjoy it for its
truly horrid qualities. This is a film that the aforementioned
Michael Medved will enjoy immensely, I imagine. He's
an idiotic Christian mouthpiece now, far removed from
the cynical and jovial young man who wrote "The 50
Worst Films of All Time" with his brother. He'll praise
the film for its Christianity and its supposed morality
I imagine. I can only hope that somewhere deep inside
of him, the childish mind that slammed D.W. Griffith
will be smiling wide, watching this Godawful, bloated,
pompous, pretentious crap and laughing at its ridiculous
absurdities.
Note:
Based on a book by Jeff Shaara.
Also with Bruce Boxleitner, Kevin
Conway, Frankie Faison (who has the only poignant
religious moment in the film), and an unrecognizable
Mira Sorvino.
Lang, who plays Jackson, played
another character in "Gettysburg." Lee was portrayed
by Martin Sheen in the original film. He could not
take part due to his commitment to TV's "The West
Wing."
There are lots of cute young men
in Civil War garb popping up throughout the film which
made it tolerable for me. Plus Jermey London is in
it occassionally (as Sandie Pendleton). That helped.
(I saw the same young, cute extra in three scenes
in a row playing three different characters).
There is a ridiculous (and long)
moment in the film where a gay looking guy in make-up
sings a Southern Civil War era song on stage while
the troops sing along. In the second row of the audience,
behind the leads, is Ted Turner in a period costume,
acting a fool and looking as obvious as hell. Turner
is, of course, Executive Producer of the film. (The
things a director has to do to get money). Turner
put up the entire budget of the film, by the way,
60 million, 15% of his entire fortune.
Bob Dylan is listed as a score composer
but his only music in the film, that I could tell,
is a song he sings over the end credits.
This film contains some of the worst
matte shots and CGI effects to ever grace a studio
picture in the new millennium.
