Star
Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace (1999)
Long
lines, crazy rules for exhibitors and for ticket buyers,
mass merchandising, George Lucas' incessant baby whining...
all of this pretty much overshadows anything the absentee
director might put on film. Why shouldn't it? The film
is a rather confusing, infantile, comic book, sci-fi,
visual effects fest that is as wooden as it is silly.
The true test of the film's inability to excite came
during a "pod racing" sequence mid-film. Fast-paced,
loud, full of visual effects that were amazing... When
all was said and done it was about as interesting as
watching one of my friends plays an awesome video game
while I waited for my
turn.
The film is a visual effects explosion. It's worth seeing
just to SEE it. But don't expect story, characters,
linear thought, excitement or engrossment. This film
doesn't have any thing other than effects to interest
you. Unless, of course, you are just a "Star Wars" fanatic,
of which there are many.
Acting? It's wooden and stilted. Liam Neesom is as dull
as ever. Ewan McGregor spends more time trying to imitate
Alec Guiness than performing. Natalie Portman is confusing
(and wasted) in a plot contrivance that makes us wonder
who is who. The child actor, Jake Lloyd, is cute but
incapable of truly evoking any emotion. Worse of all
is watching him make goo-goo eyes at Portman. In a future
"episode," her character will mate with Lloyd's to produce
Luke and Leia, but here, at 15 and 10 respectively,
the love looks between them seems rather revolting.
Characters? There are none except those which have been
established in the film "franchise." We could
care less what happens to these people. The animated
alien characters are interesting but not for their personality
or traits. They are interesting for their animatronic
or digital production. They are also interesting for
one glaring reason: One race speaks in a Jewish accent
and the other in Ebonics. The race to which fully animated
character Jar Jar Binks belongs is headed by a character
who seems to have come directly out of "Amos and Andy."
It's borderline unacceptable racism.
As for action, it's comic book at best. Lucas continues
his style of "wipes" between scenes (evoking the panels
of a comic book) which eventually makes us nauseous.
The worst part of the film is the final "light sabre"
sword fight which is quite dull. If your not a fan of
these type battles, this one will do nothing for you.
We don't even really know who the "bad guy" is, so why
should we care who wins. We already know which character
will win because he is in future episodes.
"Star Wars: E1: TPM" is a film bogged down in hype.
It's funny that Lucas tries to make us think that what
he is doing is trying to control the hype. (It's obvious
his manipulation of hype is his true talent). His supposed
rules and regulations for exhibiting the film led to
nothing but mass hype and chaos. Lucas is a master manipulator
and mass merchandising, billionaire mastermind. What
his is not is a film director.
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