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Star Wars: Episode One: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Long lines, crazy rules for exhibitors and for ticket buyers, mass merchandising, George Lucas' incessant baby whining... all of this pretty much overshadows anything the absentee director might put on film. Why shouldn't it? The film is a rather confusing, infantile, comic book, sci-fi, visual effects fest that is as wooden as it is silly. The true test of the film's inability to excite came during a "pod racing" sequence mid-film. Fast-paced, loud, full of visual effects that were amazing... When all was said and done it was about as interesting as watching one of my friends plays an awesome video game while I waited for my
turn.

The film is a visual effects explosion. It's worth seeing just to SEE it. But don't expect story, characters, linear thought, excitement or engrossment. This film doesn't have any thing other than effects to interest you. Unless, of course, you are just a "Star Wars" fanatic, of which there are many.

Acting? It's wooden and stilted. Liam Neesom is as dull as ever. Ewan McGregor spends more time trying to imitate Alec Guiness than performing. Natalie Portman is confusing (and wasted) in a plot contrivance that makes us wonder who is who. The child actor, Jake Lloyd, is cute but incapable of truly evoking any emotion. Worse of all is watching him make goo-goo eyes at Portman. In a future "episode," her character will mate with Lloyd's to produce Luke and Leia, but here, at 15 and 10 respectively, the love looks between them seems rather revolting.

Characters? There are none except those which have been established in the film "franchise." We could  care less what happens to these people. The animated alien characters are interesting but not for their personality or traits. They are interesting for their animatronic or digital production. They are also interesting for one glaring reason: One race speaks in a Jewish accent and the other in Ebonics. The race to which fully animated character Jar Jar Binks belongs is headed by a character who seems to have come directly out of "Amos and Andy." It's borderline unacceptable racism.

As for action, it's comic book at best. Lucas continues his style of "wipes" between scenes (evoking the panels of a comic book) which eventually makes us nauseous. The worst part of the film is the final "light sabre" sword fight which is quite dull. If your not a fan of these type battles, this one will do nothing for you. We don't even really know who the "bad guy" is, so why should we care who wins. We already know which character will win because he is in future episodes.

"Star Wars: E1: TPM" is a film bogged down in hype. It's funny that Lucas tries to make us think that what he is doing is trying to control the hype. (It's obvious his manipulation of hype is his true talent). His supposed rules and regulations for exhibiting the film led to nothing but mass hype and chaos. Lucas is a master manipulator and mass merchandising, billionaire mastermind. What his is not is a film director.

 

Report Card

Script: F

Acting: F

Cinematography\Lighting: B+

Special Effects\Make Up: A+

Music:
F

Final Grade: C

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