There's coverage of my intensive trip through SXSW 2003 so please check that out. Other than that, things have kind of been lame. I haven't worked too hard on trying to get any short films off the ground although I have some thoughts about trying some avant-garde stuff and worked on some slo-mo video stuff that didn't turn out very good. I also have been seriously thinking about trying to get my feature script to Christine Vachon. My friend Ashton keeps trying to talk me into sending it but…

The Boy Who Could Make Himself Disappear - Kin Platt

Trying Hard to Hear You - Sandra Scoppettone

The Wit and Wisdom of Quentin Crisp

The Hollywood Reporter Book of Box Office Hits

I need to pick up "Shampoo Planet" by Douglas Coupland and continue on my journey through his novels. I have read "Shampoo" before but I'm trying to buy them all and read them in chronological order.

Ulrich Schnauss - Far Away Trains Passing…

Ben Kweller - Sha Sha

Phillip Glass - Einstein on the Beach

Hall and Oates - Along the Red Ledge

The Ethel Merman Disco Album

Boy George - Sold

Divine - Made in England

A Musical Trip with George Burns

Buy Ben Kweller's "Sha Sha" immediately.

I finally found a copy of the George Burns album on-line and it just rocks! You have not lived until you hear Burns do "Satisfaction," "I Get By with a Little Help from My Friends" and "The 59th Street Bridge Song." The "Ethel Merman Disco Album" isn't disco at all but upbeat versions of her B'way songs. It sucks.

Coldplay - Clocks American

Rejects - Swing, Swing, Swing

Flaming Lips - Do You Realize?

Johnny Marr and the Healers - Down on the Corner

Muggs - Rain

Shaun Cassidy - Wasp

Jim Grady - Everything Is As It Should Be

Urban Verbs - Urban Verbs Urban Verbs - Early Damage

Tim Curry - Simplicity

Tim Curry - Read My Lips

Tim Curry - Paradise Garage

Tim Curry - Best of…

The Caroler Singers - Frosty the Snowman

Neil Young - Reactor

Hawaiian Pups - Split Second Percision

Crime and Punishment in Suburbia

The Rules of Attraction Click for Review!

Margaret Cho: I'm the One that I Want Click for Review!

Far From Heaven Click for Review!

American Beauty Click for Review!

Requiem for a Dream Click for Review!

Irreversible Click for Review!

Spun

Open Hearts

Head of State

View from the Top

The Core

Spirited Away

Agent Cody Banks

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Dreamcatcher

Bend it Like Beckham

4/1 - Red Dragon (Buy the DVD)

4/1 - El Crimen de Padre Amaro (The Crime of Father Amaro) (Read Lodger's Review)

4/1 - The Truth About Charlie (Buy the DVD)

4/1 - Secretary (Read Lodger's Review)

4/1 - Lone Star State of Mind (Buy the DVD)

4/1 - I am Trying to Break Your Heart (Wilco)(Read Lodger's Review)

4/1 - West Side Story (Special Edition) (Buy the DVD)

4/1 - The Beatles' Anthology (Buy the DVD)

4/1 - The Andromeda Strain (Buy the DVD)

4/1 - Fahrenheit 451 (Buy the DVD)

4/1 - Rhinoceros (Buy the DVD)

4/8 - Waking Up in Reno (Buy the DVD)

4/8 - Things Behind the Sun (Buy the DVD)

4/8 - Four Days in September (Buy the DVD)

4/8 - New York Stories (Buy the DVD)

4/11 - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (Read Lodger's Review)

4/15 - Spirited Away (Buy the DVD)

4/15 - The Transporter (Buy the DVD)

4/15 - Drumline (Read Lodger's Review)

4/15 - Evelyn (Buy the DVD)

4/15 - Rabbit-Proof Fence (Read Lodger's Review)

4/15 - Big Shot's Funeral (Buy the DVD)

4/15 - Second Skin (Read Lodger's Review)

4/15 - The Family Guy - Seasons 1 and 2 (Buy the DVD)

4/15 - Psych Out/The Trip (Buy the DVD)

4/22 - Bloody Sunday (Read Lodger's Review)

4/22 - Darkness Falls (Buy the DVD)

4/22 - Real Women Have Curves (Read Lodger's Review)

4/22 - The Believer (Read Lodger's Review)

4/22 - Kandahar (Buy the DVD)

4/22 - Standing in the Shadows of Motown (Buy the DVD)

4/22 - Young Guns - Special Edition (Buy the DVD)

4/29 - Two Weeks Notice (Read Lodger's Review)

4/29 - Treasure Planet (Read Lodger's Review)

4/29 - Biggie and Tupac (Buy the DVD)

4/29 - The Adventures of Antione Doniel (Buy the DVD)

4/29 - Luc Besson's Atlantis (Buy the DVD)

4/29 - LeMans (Buy the DVD)

4/29 - Little Big Man (Buy the DVD)

5/6 - The Emperor's Club (Read Lodger's Review)

5/6 - Extreme Ops (Buy the DVD)

5/6 - The People vs. Larry Flynt - Special Edition (Buy the DVD)

5/6 - By Brakhage (26 films by Stan Brakhage) (Buy the DVD)

5/6 - The Incredible Hulk (Bill Bixby) (Buy the DVD)

5/13 - The Hot Chick(Buy the DVD)

5/13 - Analyze That (Buy the DVD)

5/13 - There's Something about Mary - Special Edition(Buy the DVD)

5/13 - Atlantis II (Disney) (Buy the DVD)

5/13 - This Boy's Life (Buy the DVD)

5/13 - The Courtship of Eddie's Father (Buy the DVD)

5/20 - Adaptation (Read Lodger's Review)

5/20 - Star Trek: Nemesis (Read Lodger's Review)

5/20 - Antwone Fisher (Buy the DVD)

5/20 - The 25th Hour (Read Lodger's Review)

5/20 - Max (Buy the DVD)

5/20 - Windtalkers - Director's Edition (Buy the DVD)

5/20 - Dances with Wolves - Special Edition (Buy the DVD)

5/27 - Talk to Her (Read Lodger's Review)

5/27 - Good Burger (Read Lodger's Review)

5/27 - Jubilee (Derek Jarman) (Buy the DVD)

6/3 - Animatrix (Buy the DVD)

6/3 - Die Another Day (Buy the DVD)

(Dates subject to change)

4/3 - Centromatic - Mercury@Jazz

4/4 - Pong - Mercury@Jazz

4/4&5 - Scabbs - Antone's

4/5 - HeKillThree - 710

4/6 - Kelly Osbourne - Lazona Rosa

4/8&9 - Ian Moore - Cactus Cafe

4/11&12 - Jimmy Vaughn - Antone's

4/12 - Manatee - Red Eyed Fly

4/12 - Ambrosia - One World Theater

4/13 - Tone-Loc - Spiro's

4/13 - Mike Watt - Stubb's

4/17 - Youth Brigade - Emo's

4/17 - Dishwalla - Spiro's

4/18 - The Ataris - Lazona Rosa

4/19 - Standing Waves - Saxon Pub

4/19&20 - Bob Dylan - Backyard

4/21 - Cramps - Stubb's

4/22 - All American Rejects - Stubb's

4/22 - Cruiserweight/Manatee - Lucy's (San Marcos)

4/23 - Dickies - Emo's

4/25 - Spoon - Lazona Rosa

4/25 - Tori Amos - Backyard

4/25 - Los Lobos - Stubb's

4/25 - The Gourds - Mercury@Jazz

4/26 - Manatee/Dynamite Boy - Random Park (Round Rock)

4/30 - Ben Harper - Backyard

5/2 - Steve Forbert - Cactus Café

5/3 - Jackopierce - Momo's

5/10 - Jennifer Holiday - Zach Scott

5/14 - Pedro the Lion - Emo's

5/16 - Explosions in the Sky - Emo's

5/16 - Michael Franks - One World Theater

5/16 - Manatee - Grafitti's (Round Rock)

5/30 - Manatee - Stony Point High

6/6 - Jean-Luc Ponty - One World Theater

7/11 - Acoustic Alchemy - One World Theater

7/24 - Sir Mixalot - Spiro's

8/4 - David Gray - Backyard

I've been hanging out with Ashton a lot lately even though it is really frustrating to be around such an attractive, young man who identifies as straight. We have endless circular conversations about sex and sexuality that just end up making me feel frustrated and him feel uncomfortable (his word). I had pretty much given up on hanging out with him but he called me over and over and left messages and I just couldn't be strong enough to cut it off with him.

Then he'll do something odd like tell me that he wants to get his penis pierced again and that he wants to tape it so we can show it on Lube TV. This was a few days after I had kinda gotten on his case about not doing anything special for the show. He's so pretty but he just sits there. He won't even unbutton the top button of his shirt let alone take it off, for Chrissakes. So, anyway, one day he just pops out with this idea to get a second piercing in his cock, something he really wants to do, and let us tape it for the show. We talk about it for a couple days and stuff and then, all of a sudden, when we talk about it and I say something about seeing it happen, he acts like he didn't expect me to be there during the taping. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?

Okay, I know what it is. He's young and trying to figure stuff out. He likes me as a person and he can't rectify that with his other feelings. I know when he tells me that I make him feel uncomfortable sometimes what he really is saying is that he makes himself feel uncomfortable sometimes (I'm always the same. I'm always trying to get in his pants). I don't change. So how could I all of a sudden make him feel uncomfortable when I'm doing the same thing I was doing five minutes before when he was all cool with it).

Anyway, it's complex and boring and frustrating and I was done with him. And he kept calling. What a nightmare.

On the 17th, a Monday night, we decided to go to dinner and a movie which, of course, means I'm taking him to dinner and a movie. We went down to Hut's Hamburgers and it was so crowded on the street. I couldn't figure this out. Everyone had just been on Spring Break. Then I realized it was St. Patrick's Day. There's some sort of Irish Pub about a block from Hut's and it was pretty crowded. Ashton had never been to Hut's before but he really liked it.

We went up to Pflugerville to see "Old School" and then headed back downtown. It was fairly early and we decided to go down to 6th street and walk around. Since Ashton is only 18, though, he couldn't go in any of the bars. Some are 18 and up but they're usually not open on Monday nights.

I had told Ashton, for some reason, that young guys were called "chicken" by gay guys and that term probably comes from older guys daring younger guys to do sexual stuff and calling them "chicken" when they balked. I think that's where the term comes from. Anyway, he thought he could meet a chick and dare her to make out with him. It was funny. That was going to be his pick-up line for the night.

There was a pretty nice crowd of people out for a Monday night and we walked up and down 6th about five times. Along the way we met up with several interesting people. Almost right away I bumped into Monica of XXX Souls. She used to be a bartender for Casino's and then for Ocean's 11. She told me she got a job during SXSW at The Backroom and was going to be working there. I need to go she if she's around some time.

There was some girl walking the corner selling CD's. I kid you not. Beggars hit us up about five times in 45 minutes, which sucked. But this girl hit us up and was actually selling something. She was half-way decent looking, so Ashton spent some time talking to her and winded up by a CD. She talked to us for a while and told us that her boyfriend was Scott Pott and he had a band call the Scott Pott Underground or something like that and they played locally and had a cable access show. It's on Tuesday nights at 11pm on Channel 16 and it's called The Freepott Underground. (I checked it out the next night and it was a lot of video crap and cheap looking local music videos. There were lots of marijuana references. The Freepott Underground songs weren't too bad for Eurodance techno sounding stuff). I wondered what kind of creep sends his girlfriend out to sell CD's on the street corner.

There was some guy wearing a sign that said something like "I have a small penis" and the second or third time we passed him, we finally stopped him and talked to him. His name was Jim something or the other and he was a stand-up comic.

A few nights later Ashton and I went out to a movie again. We saw "Bringing Down the House." Afterward we went to Wal-Mart and he bought some shirt. He bought this really gorgeous silky, silver button-down that looks hot as fuck on him - even with the top button buttoned. We also bought some cheap DVD's and went back to his place and watched "Crimes and Punishment in Suburbia" in his PS2.

And the 26th was his birthday. He had a get-together at his apartment and I was invited. He was really trying to hook up with this girl named Resa, or something like that, that he likes. She actually had the gall to bring some other guy to the party and hang all over him. He was a definite cutie, with the unfortunate name of Stewart. I liked Stew. He had a dreamy Cheshire cat smile and looked stoned out of his mind.

There were a few other people at the party including Ashton's old roommate Mike, who is a complete ass. He's not really cute but he's such a dick that you know, given the chance, he would fuck you like a dog. For a one-night stand, if you dug being treated rough, he'd be the guy to hook up with. Anyway, Mike pretty much pissed everyone off with his know-it-all bullshit and the party broke up pretty early. Ashton was really despondent over the girl bringing another guy, so there was no talking to him. I headed home pretty much when everybody else did.

Melissa and her new (yawn) boyfriend have an apartment now and she recently invited me over for Martinis. She found an old recipe book for the cocktails and bought a shaker and some long stemmed glasses. She asked me to go to the liquor store for her on my way over and pick up a few things. When I asked her what, she told me Cranberry Vodka and Peach Schnapps. When I suggested that Martinis were made with Gin and Vermouth, she told me we were having Woo Hoo Martinis. I couldn't find any Cranberry Vodka, so I got Raspberry flavored instead.

No one was at her new apartment when I got there except for her. She told me her boyfriend Robert, plus her cousin Leticia and her boyfriend (whom we will call Mr. X.), would be coming soon. We hung out and talked and made really strong drinks with the vodka and schnapps (they called for a 6 to 1 mix but we found 3 to 1 to be much tastier). I got pretty schnackered.

We had just started to watch my DVD of Margaret Cho's "I'm the One that I Want" when Robert and Mr. X. came. We turned off the DVD and there was much discussion about growing mushrooms and the continual making of Martinis and stuff like that. Soon Letitcia showed up and we all got drunk and they started playing Dance Dance Revolution, some sort of video game where you have to dance on this pad, hitting certain points on the pad at the appropriate time to score points. It's really dumb. Melissa got all mad when we made fun of her doing it. Apparently Robert's brother Alex, who is 13 and looks like a Jr. member of At the Drive-In, can do all the dances at the fastest speed. I still question what good eye/feet coordination really is. We eventually put the Margaret Cho back in but Mr. X. really didn't care for it too much. Of course, in the first DVD Cho talks a lot more seriously about her troubled with drugs and alcohol and with weight issues. I realized watching the concert for the third time that when Cho is getting serious she sort of slips into this performance artist type cadence that owes as much to Laurie Anderson as it does to stand-up comedians. Mr. X. was antsy all through the thing and I realized that Cho really is mostly for women and gay guys. Straight, white, middle class guys won't get her. Their loss.

Eventually Melissa got drunk and started to pass out and made everyone go home. It was lame.

My friend Patrick of The Lube TV Arkestra and The Oblong Boys called a few days ago trying to get hold of Mark Brauner, my co-host and our mutual friend. Mark's been busy working as an extra on "The Alamo" shooting here in town and has been out of pocket. I guess he's had some free time because he got Episode 101 on the air last week.

Anyway, I mentioned Patrick in my coverage of the Alamo Drafthouse showcase of "Willard" with Crispin Glover in attendance. Patrick had went up and talked to him. He told me that he had asked Crispin about getting some of his books and the formidable pasty one had given him a 1-800 number to call and order them. He had ordered all three of them for $69.00. He told me he thought it was Crispin's mother who answered the phone when he called to order them but who knows. I should hit him up for that number.

You know, another book I always meant to get and never did was Harmony Korine's "A Day at the Races."

Manatee were playing at Jupiter Records on Friday night doing an in-store to promote their new CD "Music is Useless." My roommate Amanda was out of town so her boyfriend Mike, my other roommate, went with me. We got there a bit early and the place seemed deserted but the band was setting up. I thought this might be a really intimate set since there was no one there but by the time the boys started playing, the place had really filled up.

Jupiter is really small and they were playing in a corner and they were trying not to be too loud, so the whole show was a bit tame. The boys tried their best and ripped through, I believe, every song on the album. (I wonder when they're going to introduce some new stuff?) Although the set was a bit restrained, bassist Austin Orand really cut loose on the last song they played ("Six") and shouted really loud. It sounded almost exactly like the CD.

Mike liked them okay but I explained to him that he really needed to see them in a live venue to hear how great they are. They did like cute as hell as always with frontman Chris Vanlandingham in a cool two-tone black and gray sweater and hottie Aaron Franco having an awesome hair day.

As we left, someone handed me a flyer of their upcoming shows. These guys do know how to promote themselves. I put the dates in the Upcoming Cool Shows list above. Check out their website at http://www.manateetheband.com

Afterwards, Mike and I went to Casinos for a burger and some beers. As we were leaving, we saw Alex Holdridge, director and star of "Sexless" going into the Velveeta Room with a date.

Why do cute little gay boys always want to tell me about their naked photos but never want to let me take any? My friend Dusty was showing me naked pictures of himself on his digital camera when we watched the airing of the Lube TV 100th episode. And this cute young gay guy I work with was just the other day telling me about taking some naked photos with a photographer when he first came to Austin. The photog published a book and you can buy it at Lobo's and this guy's pictures are in it. This kid isn't what most people would consider hot, he's got some pimples and is a little too gay for my tastes, but I wouldn't mind seeing him naked. Apparently he took the photos when he was just 17 and although the photographer asked for his ID, he never took it to him.

On the next night, Saturday the 29th, Hobble played at a club called "Barfly's" up north on Airport. I'd never been there before and when I talked to Oriah on the phone, he told me the place was really small. Mike again went with me and we found the place with little difficulty. It was sort of on the second floor above some retail type places. Sure enough, it was small and crowded inside and they had to store the pool table over to the side.

Free Range Bastards were playing when we came in and I looked around for anyone from Hobble while Mike went to the bar and got us some beers. The Bastards were okay but nothing special. They're pretty punky. Eventually I saw Tom, the bassist from Hobble. I went to get us some beers and they were dirt-cheap, two bucks a pop! Wow.

I was checking out this somewhat odd yet cute guy, probably in his 30's who was pencil thin and wearing tight slacks and a blue jeans jacket. He had this really odd haircut with a spit curl on the side of his cheek and a huge nose! I really wish I had told him how fierce he looked. Mike the guitarist from Hobble came over and said hello. I suddenly flashed back to a conversation we'd had after their gig at 710 during SXSW about a movie he wants to make. I can't remember much about the plot except that it's really weird. And the local band The Krumbums are in it. Mike wants me to play the Tooth Fairy and also a democrat who gets crucified. That sounds good to me.

Hobble eventually took the stage and put on what truly was one of the best shows I've ever seen them do. I know I say that every time. I guess that's why I love to see them play live so much. Every time just seems better and better, The sound was pretty awesome, the atmosphere was cool and it was just another one of those magical nights where they boys played loud and raw and fabulously and a good time was had by all.

They did do one cool thing and that was these moment during one of their songs where they brought up some girl I'd never seen before and she tap danced on this special little platform they'd built with a special mike that caught the sound. It was fucking cool.

During the set Oriah's gf Holly cam up and aid hi and we jammed out to the band. After the show, I talked to her. During SXSW she went to Louisiana for a day to see the Queens of Stone Age live. I asked her how the show was and she said it was awesome. But she had left her purse at someone's house when she was there and had to survive without it for two weeks. I guess they mailed it to her and at some point the label feel off and the post office sent it back to her friends and they had to re-send it. What a bummer.

Oriah told me that some of the guys from The Ritz, had built the stage that day at Barfly's. It was pretty cool. I think some of the guys in Excess Lettuce work at The Ritz or something because they also play there often. Anyway, they were playing last but Mike and I both had to be to our day gigs early on Sunday so we opted to head home and crash.

Before we left I went to pee and as I was about to go in some guy stopped me and told me there was a girl in there. We waited for her and two or three other guys came and waited. When she finally came out and we went in, we were all talking and laughing. I am a bit pee shy but after a few drinks I'm better about it. This was a small bathroom and we were all talking and joking. I went to one urinal and over by the other was this pipe that ran down the wall that had a another pipe joint sticking out of it into the air - somewhat like an erect penis. The guy who went to the urinal by that said, "This pipe is making me feel inadequate" and we all laughed.

It was a full weekend. On Friday night I saw Manatee. On Saturday, it was Hobble. And on Sunday night I went to see Margaret Cho at the Paramount. I had wanted to go but was afraid the seats wouldn't be worth the $50 asking price when my friend Johnny Oh! offered to treat me to the show.

I offered to buy him dinner before the show, which was at 10:30, and we agreed to meet at 8pm. Johnny had hinted around that he had a few presents for me and I was intrigued. He came to pick me up and showered me with gifts. It was cool. First there was a whole shitload of cool Bowie photos that he had got from some guy he met on Gay.com. And then there was an amazing autographed picture of John Waters that he had won at a silent auction at the Agliff Oscar party. I don't know what he paid for it, but it sure is awesome. It's even framed!

Johnny wanted to try this Cuban restaurant on South Congress called Habanna, so we went there. It was really reasonably priced and not a fancy place at all. (We talked about going to Cuba Libre, this expensive, pretentious place that opened next to the Alamo Drafthouse Downtown but opted against it). Habanna had horrible little chairs not made for a person of my weight and I was uncomfortable throughout the meal. Plus I'd worn my leopard spotted shirt and furry girl's vest jacket to look punky for the Cho show and the shirt is a little small and I was afraid my ass would show when I crouched on this tiny little seat. Somehow with grace and skill, I made it work.

The food at Habanna's was okay. For an appetizer we got friend plantain chips and they were really bland. They came with some sort of tamale sauce. John got a dish with a name in Spanish that meant "old clothes" that he'd read about. It looked good. I got some sort of friend chicken breast (I thought it would be grilled, it was huge) with some interesting sweet dipping sauce.

During dinner, Johnny regaled me with stories of getting the items he had brought me. He also told me this scandalous story about this on-line ho' he had started talking to! I do love dirt but out of deference to Johnny I will leave it at that!

We ate and then headed to the Paramount for the show. There was a small wait before we were allowed to go in about 10pm. We went up to Kat, the bartender, and she told me that J.K. had just been there! Talk about scandalous! I haven't talked to that ho' since we broke up! And I don't want to talk to him! Johnny tried to tell me something about him a couple weeks ago and I didn't want to hear it. I asked if he were dying of cancer or something like that and he said no, so I shut him down. Now I think he was probably trying to tell me he slept with J.K. and I really don't want to hear that noise!

We found are seats and then started people watching. I looked around for J.K. but didn't see him anywhere. (He was probably in the cheap seat in the balcony). I was also looking for a friend of mine named Jett who had just broken up with his boyfriend. They were still going to see Cho together. I'd like to get to know Jett more. He's cute (but not too cute) and sweet and just gay enough to be obvious but not flaming. Alas, I didn't see him. We did see Craig, the squeaky voiced cutie that I used to watch on Camarades. Johnny made me meet him at last year's Agliff and I still haven't forgiven him for it.

There were lots of cute guys there and even some really fierce drag queens. I even saw a college guy with one of the cutest, young TV's I have ever seen. He looked totally at ease and natural with his date and it was wonderful to see so many diverse types of gay people at the show.

At some point a guy came down the aisle towards me and out of the corner of my eye I thought it was J.K. Just as I gasped, I realized it wasn't. It was just the guy sitting next to us. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Johnny was at the bar getting me a drink when the lights dimmed and an African-American guy came on stage and started doing stand-up. He was somewhat funny. His name was Bruce Daniels and towards the end of his short set he told us that he worked on the short animated film "Grocery Store" with Cho which is on the "Notorious C.H.O." DVD. Then he introduced the woman we had all come to see. And a drag queen impersonator came on the stage.

At least it looked like a drag queen impersonator. He ha don thick make-up and way too much of it. He was dressed like a complete ho-bag and was wearing fuck-me shoes that would topple over Elle Macpherson. People cheered like crazy and I thought we were all in for a surprise. When the TV went to the mic and started to talk, I expected the ruse to be exposed. But the voice sounded so much like Cho with a sore throat that I started questioning if it really was a drag queen. And the more s/he talked, the more I realized, it really was Cho!

Cho kept talking and was immediately funny even if her voice was strained from the road. She eventually took off her go-go boots and shows and relaxed into her set which began to be about her recently deceased relationship. She did some funny bits about trading sexual favors for chores around the house that ended with the line, "Whose ass do I gotta eat to get someone to mow the lawn around here?"

When she went into a long cherubic voiced bit about seeing her friend in the delivery room during child birth and got more and more poetic about the beauty of it, I knew a punchline was coming and sure enough, I was not disappointed. After lulling us into her story with her trademark voice of compassion, she blurted out, "and then her pussy exploded." It was hilarious and I laughed my ass off but even more funny was how the guy who was sitting next to me poofed! When he had first come near me and I thought he was J.K., I was relieved to see that he wasn't after a second. I noticed he was with a girl and thought no more about him. He was cute but nothing special. He had hardly made a peep since he and his fish sat down. But when Cho threw out that hilarious line, he burst into laughter like the biggest girl you have ever seen. He queened out! And it was hilarious. I thought he was going to pee MY pants!

Cho talked about going to Bangkok and the barkers for sex shows there. While the crude come-on of "Pussy eat banana!" (imitated with Asian accent intact by Cho) didn't peak her curiosity, "Pussy play Ping-Pong!" did. "Does it play against another pussy?" she asked. "How does it hold the paddle?" During the rest of the show, Cho would insert crazy come-on lines like these to hilarious results. A lull would occur and suddenly she would yell in her hilarious imitation accent, "Pussy change oil!" or "Pussy free with pussy of equal or lesser value!"

The highlight of the show was a hilarious and raucous 20 minute story that begins with Cho being on a diet where she only ate persimmons. But soon she curves into a tale of being in a traffic jam during this time and suddenly realizing, "I'm going to shit right now!" This was fucking hilarious as she took the story to it's outrageous extreme.

Cho ended with some clever dialogue about how she would love to raise a gay son. She needs to expand on this idea. This could be a hilarious riff for her. Hell, that could even be a hilarious sit-com. Margaret Cho with a gay son and how she makes him be fierce and out there even though he just wants to be normal. That could be hilarious. Like she makes him go to a school dance with his boyfriend when he wants to stay home and watch a movie with the guy instead. Not because he's afraid, but because he just thinks dances are stupid or something. Or he refuses to wear Abercrombie and Fitch because he wants to wear clothes from K-Mart or something. C'mon. This is priceless. I shouldn't be giving this away. "Oh my God! You cannot go out in that shirt!" and he's wearing like a plaid button up or something. Or a sweater vest.

The show was hilarious but never really seemed to hit a stride. Cho went off on a lot of tangents and seemed a bit unfocused. She often slipped into the same mode she has used on all of her stand-up of lulling the audience with some sort of poetic story before dropping a punch-line bomb on them. I guess I've watched her DVD's so much, it's too easy for me to dissect her style. She practically telegraphs her punchlines to me now.

In addition to the randomness of the show, which seemed a bit too easy for Cho, there just wasn't enough "mama" stuff in the show. I love when she does her mother. I know she is probably sick to death of it, but that's what we paid the $50 to see. Even if she did the "Assmaster" bit word for word again, I would have been happy. She only channeled her mother 3 times during the set and only for about one line each time. It was way too little. She also didn't do an encore and she didn't even come back out to take a bow. That was disappointing.

After the show John and I hung out in front of the Paramount for a few minutes. He met some of his friend, a drum circle of lesbians on a break, and introduced me and we talked for a bit. They were with friends from Dallas who had come to Austin to see Cho and "Mama Mia."

I love Margaret Cho and I will never miss seeing her live again. Even on what seemed like an off night, it was amazing and hilarious.

Rather than rest on Monday night, I went out with Ashton. We had dinner at Wan Fu. Ashton got these really awesome crunchy walnuts that I liked. We took a bit too long and had to rush to the Dobie to get to the movie on time. We were going to see "City of God." He actually opted for this over "Dreamcatcher" which kind of surprised me.

We made it to the Dobie close to on time and actually got to see the trailers for "Cowboy Bebop: The Movie," which I will have to sit through again because I promised Ashton I would take him, and "Spun," which he also wants to see.

After the movie, we went by my place and picked up some DVD's to take over to his pad to watch. I had left some beer there, so it seemed like the place to go. We got "American Beauty" and "Requiem for a Dream" from my collection.

We got to Ashton's and he tried to get a hold of this girl he likes. She wasn't answering her phone. I know why girls don't like him. He's not an asshole. He wants a relationship. He's very precise. Oh yeah, and girls are fools.

We had some beers and watched "American Beauty." It's such a fantastic film. It was one of the first DVD's I bought when I got my player but I had never cracked it open. Ashton had seen it one time before and I had not seen it since it came out. We agreed it was an awesome movie.

I told Ashton that I saw "American Beauty" at 10 o'clock in the morning at a press sneak in Austin about 6 weeks after I had moved here. I explained my whole life to Ashton up to my move here and how weird it was to be so old yet really out on my own for the first time. I had lived with my parents in Houston for over 20 years before I moved to Austin. I really hadn't lived. I'd existed. I was a pot-head and a TV junkie. I was dead.

I hadn't slept much the night before I saw "American Beauty." It was one of those mornings where my head was tingling from lack of sleep. I saw a sneak of the film 2 months before it was released. It didn't even have end credits on it. It was a masterpiece. It was a wake-up call. I could so relate to Lester Burnham. He started his life when he was 43. It only lasted 3 or 4 days.

Mine started when I was 36 and I moved to Austin. So far it has lasted almost 4 years.

Lodger 2003

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