My friend Tim the Wonder Horse called me when I first got to work this morning and we talked about how "A Scanner Darkly" was showing this afternoon at SXSW. Tim has a friend who works for Detour Films, who did the animation of the film, and he told me that he had already seen about an hour of it.

Tim was also telling me about some crazy film called "Dangerous Men" that is supposed to be so bad it is good. It apparently ran at the Alamo Downtown a few times. I'll have to try and check it out some day if I ever have time.

I was supposed to work until 5 today but I was so bummed out and lackluster that my boss kept bugging me until I finally told him that the reason I was in such a bad mood was that I was disappointed about not being able to go to the screening of "A Scanner Darkly" at 4. He told me that he would see what he could do and at 3 o'clock he came into my office and told me I could leave work early. I was ecstatic. I have the best boss in the world.

I hoped in my car and drove downtown. Traffic was horrible. Even though my work is about 10 minutes from downtown, it took 25 to get there. I drove by the Paramount looking for parking and the line was around the block. I thought it was going to be impossible to get in but I had to try. I parked and walked back and the line was shorter. People kept getting in line behind me and saying, "Oh, we'll get in," and I kept thinking that we wouldn't because I knew some people had already went in and these special un-promoted sneaks are always hard to get into if you aren't somebody "in the know." Linklater and his flunkies and Harry Knowles and his hangers- on can take up a lot of seats.

While I was waiting in line this guy was chatting up this girl behind me. He was asking her all kinds of questions and making small talk but even without looking I could tell he was really trying to hit on her. She was a film student and she rambled on and on about how she was into photographing fruit. Eventually I had to turn around and look at them and I made some sort of small comment and began to talk to them. The guy recognized me from my picture on the website and told me he knew about the site because he made a short film called "Appetite for Construction" that I liked which screened at CinemaTexas in 1999 and that every time he does a vanity search of his name on the net, my site pops up. His name is Greg Gilpatrick. There. Now this page will show up too.

Waiting in line, I also saw a lot of cute SXSW rocker boys. The music part of the festival starts on Wednesday or Thursday of the week that the film festival runs and a lot of hipster hottie boys are in town during the last half of the film festival. I also spotted Dan Cofer of the Dobie, Graham Reynolds (whom I would later learn has done the score for the film), and Karrie League of the Alamo Drafthouse. Karrie was looking for her friend Tim, whom I meet last night. (I later found out he had tripped and hurt his ankle and missed the screening).

On the way into the screening, I ran into my friend Christian who works for a local radio station. (I think it's KLBJ but I'm not sure. He has some dumb nickname on there). He told me that he had went to the Tommy Chong film because he had met him at the radio station earlier that day.

I got almost to the front of the theater and some screaming person told us all that the screening was full. Everyone kind of mulled around for a while trying to figure out where to go and what to do. I saw my friend Liz Lopez who works for some Hispanic newspapers here in Austin and we began to talk.

Sadly, I kind of abandoned Liz without really meaning to in the middle of our convo. Let's just say it's good to know the right people sometimes, because I noticed a friend of mine said help and this person knew someone who eventually snuck me into the screening. I had to be patient and chillax for a minute or two while they found a way to escort me into the Paramount without causing a ruckus and then I got inside, went to the front of the theater and down and sat in the front row. There was lots of scattered seating in the place. It was really "full" - at least not crammed full. I saw Harry Knowles and his father nearby.

Matt Dentler got up and introduced the film and told us that Rick wasn't here to talk about the movie. He told us that the film was screening on HD and not 35mm and that they music wasn't finished and the credits were not complete.

During the screening a couple kept whispering behind me and the guy got up no less than five times during the film. He had to scooch past other people in the narrow row and it was quite a fiasco every time he got up. At the end of the movie he talked louder and I realized it was Alex Jones, Austin's resident conspiracy theorist and local cable access TV celeb. Jones has a part in "Scanner" where he does his usual man on the street with a bullhorn shouting about how the government is corrupt or whatever. In the movie an unmarked van pulls up while he is doing this and drags him inside and carries him away. It's funny. Jones kept talking about how "real" the film was after it was over. It must be hard to be a conspiracy therorist 24/7. What the hell do you say during foreplay?

I ran into my friend Jett who works in the box office at the Paramount at the end of the screening and he told me that he was getting a promotion to be an assistant to the programmer or something similar to that. He'll work up in the office more so I probably won't even see him as often as I usually do. Good for him, sucks for me. Jett's a real cutie and its always fun to see him when I go to the Paramount.

Outside the Paramount I ran into my friend Tim the Wonder Horse and he was standing in the line to buy tickets for the next film, the Beastie Boys' "Awesome: I Fucking Shot That." Tim didn't get into "Scanner" because it was "full" before everyone with a badge got in, so they didn't sell tickets. He was afraid that the same thing would happen with the Beasties but he was hoping to at least see them come into the theater via the red carpet. I had decided not to go to the Beasties' thing because I knew it would be packed and that just isn't very fun at the Paramount.

Tim told me that he thought "Scanner" had been moved to summer (it had been dated for 3/31 for quite a while) and when I got home I looked on the net and found he was correct. It is now dated for 7/7.

I was going to see "Pick up the Mic" at 6 but it was already after 6 when "Scanner" let out, so I came home and chilled for a while. I made calls and got everything arranged for the screening of "Small Town Gay Bar" at the Alamo that night. My friends Johnny Oh! and Lauralee were going to go to but they would have to by tickets. I headed downtown at about 8:45 or so and got in the badge line, which was small. Johnny and Lauralee called and they were both close by and parking. I hung up with one of them and the people behind me in line started talking about seeing "The Cassidy Kids" and one of them gave away the big reveal of the movie. I was pissed! How fucking stupid and inconsiderate can you be.

It was sprinkling, so I think they wanted to get us in as quickly as possible because the badge line went in before Johnny and Lauralee even got there. I went inside and sat in the second or third row and watched the opening videos. There was a couple of clips from "Can't Stop the Music," The Village People musical with Bruce Jenner and Valerie Perrine. They were showing the music video section for "YMCA," set at a gym and a pool and it almost seemed like a gay homage to Leni Riefenstahl's "Olympia." Imagine a bunch of Aryan hotties running around in skimpy little nylon shorts and doing calisthenics and you've got a pretty good idea of the images.

This reminded me again of my Tom Snyder "Tomorrow Show" "Punk and New Wave" DVD. On the episode with Patti Smith, there is a 20 minute segment with producer Allan Carr ("Grease," "Where the Boys Are '84") where he talks about "Can't Stop the Music" as well as a lot of other things, and it is just fascinating. I really liked him. I looked him up on the net and he died of liver cancer in 1999, which is sad. He was a frumpy little chubby guy with big glasses. He could have been Paul Williams' little brother.

Anyway, they were also showing some cowboy clips and industrial films like "Soapy the Germ Fighter" (where a kid wants to be a cowboy) as well as a Donna Summer song and more. Gay disco and cowboys... Is this what the people at the Alamo think being gay is all about? Is this there idea of how to entertain gay people? I got to tell you... part of me was pretty offended.

The director of "Small Town Gay Bar" was introduced and he got up and talked briefly and told us he would do a Q&A after the film.

At the Q&A after the film, the director answered some questions and told us how Kevin Smith was involved in producing the film. The piece begins with an animated View Askew logo which is Smith's production company. The director, Malcolm Ingram, told us that he used to write for Film Threat and he met Smith at several film festivals, and eventually the director gave him money to make three movies.

He also told us that the film began wider in scope than just focusing on three bars in Mississippi but as he got closer and closer to filming, he realized that these three bars were very unique. One is in Fred Phleps hometown and one is near Donald Wildmon's facilities. For those who don't know, these are two of the most hateful and bigoted homophobes to walk the face of the Earth and, in my opinion, cancer would be too good for them. What is the most painful and hideous and prolonged way to die? Starvation? Dehydration? Syphilis without treatment? That is what I wish on these jerks.

After the Q&A we left the building but were standing in front of the place on the sidewalk and this loudest, most obnoxious volunteer I have ever seen or heard in my life began yelling in my ear about how we needed to move along and get off the sidewalk. Honey. Don't you know? Lodgey owns the fucking sidewalk! Seriously, yelling in my ear is not the best way in the world to make me comply. I know there's another screening and I know people are in line to get to that screening and I am in the way, but if you yell at me - I ain't fucking moving!

Finally, when my eardrum pain had subsided, we walked Lauralee to her car and then she drove me and John to our vehicles. I went back to Lodgopolis but Johnny decided to go over to Oil Can Harry's. Apparently on Wednesday nights the place is filled with young hotties and they do some sort of "Male Box" thing where you can send mash notes back and forth if you wear a number of your chest. How very retro. So pre-E.

lodger @ SXSW 2006