I didn't get much sleep Tuesday night and had to be in the office early Wednesday, so after my full day of work I headed home and took a nap. I wanted to see "The Heart is Deceitful Above All Things" at the Dobie at 7:15, so I set my alarm for 6:30. I went into a deep sleep and woke up at 6:52 with my alarm beeping. I couldn't believe I had slept through it (I never do this) and quickly jumped into some clothes and headed towards campus praying that there would be at least a seat in the front row for me.

I got to the Dobie pretty quickly and was in my seat by about 7:07. The place was crowded but not really packed. Soon Anonda, the coolest volunteer at SXSW, got up, introduced herself and then introduced Lily, who had worked on the film. Lily read a very, very, very... long e-mail from J.T. Leroy, the author of the stories on which this film is based. Leroy has made a name for himself as a cult author writing autobiographical accounts of his abusive and odd upbringing. Even more shocking and outrageous is Mr. Leroy's wont of dressing and living as a woman. This transformation is so successfully apparently, that some believe his once maleness is a hoax perpetrated by a determined female. Apparently most of these people have never been to a drag show.

After the film, a lot of the audience left and a different volunteer lead Lily up to the mic for a Q&A. Since there were only a few people left, only the lamest and most tepid questions and comments came about, leaving me quite bored and wishing I had left. When it was obvious there were no more questions, the volunteer just left Lily hanging, leaving her to utter a meek "Thank you" after several seconds of silence. Don't they train these volunteers on how to do this sort of thing and save these poor guests from looking like fools?

I hightailed it over to Austin Convention Center for "The Comedians of Comedy." Today was the first day of the music part of SXSW and the convention center looked like a hurricane had went through it. It was filthy. Don't they have employees to keep this place neat and tidy while events are going on? I can't imagine what a first time visitor would think of our city if their first impression of it was the squalor of ACC on this evening. It was simply unacceptable.

I hadn't been to a screening at ACC yet during this year's festival and when I walked in, I was surprised to find a bleacher system of seats set up emulating stadium seating. Most of the seats in front of the screen where taken, so I had to sit a bit off to the side but in the front where I like to be. This temporary screening area was quite cool. Kudos to SXSW for making it so.

After a bit a guy came up and sat behind me near one of his friends. Apparently this guy has been auditioning to play Curly from the Three Stooges all of his life. I kept expecting him to go "nyuck, nyuck, nyuck..." He was annoying. I think he must have been a local wannabee stand-up comedian because he and his friend talked a lot about comedy and some of the comedic films at SXSW this year like "The Aristocrats" and Sarah Silverman's new film.

His friend said that he had a film "pass" and that this was the first year that he hadn't been able to get into a lot of stuff. I'm telling you: This is the biggest SXSW Film Festival ever.

Matt Dentler, the SXSW "man behind the magic," came in and introduced the film. He also told us that the screening of "Murderball" scheduled for the next evening had been moved from the Downtown Alamo to the new one on South Lamar. He didn't say why but I assumed it must be because the older downtown building isn't really wheelchair accessible. Maybe they could accommodate one of two, but many more than this will be showing up for the film. That's what made the Paramount such a perfect venue when they removed the first few rows of chairs (which are temporary and not attached to the floor anyway). The new Alamo location surely is much more hospitable to the handicapped. I still haven't seen a film there yet.

Oh yeah, and something interesting finally did happen with the SXSW trailer, which, although there are two versions, has gotten boring and lame. When the young filmmaker asks the guy selling keys to the stars' homes, "How much?" the audience started yelling out prices. They heckled other parts and when the film ended, one guy laughed hysterically for several seconds, as if it were still funny. The only other time I've seen a festival opening trailer heckled was at Agliff in 2003, which was done out of the audience's love for the piece. This SXSW trailer is being heckled because people are sick to death of it.

After the movie, I called Wan Fu and ordered some Chinese Food to take home. I watched a bit of TV and ate before going to bed. I opened my fortune cookie and it said, "You have a charming way with words."

I shit you not.

Lodger at SXSW2005