Home of the cutest religious choir of all time; the biggest team of flopping, poor sports crybabies in the NBA; and the saltiest lake in the USA....

Filethirteen is going to Utah!

As you may know, Filethirteen is going to Park City Utah during the end of January 2000 to see if we can actually get into Slamdance, Sundance, No Dance, Digital Dance, Two Left Feet, and/or any of the other festivals that have sprung up around this area. There are lotsa films to see and lotsa stuff to do. Maybe we'll even get to hobknob with some celebs. Or perhaps we'll just have to admire them from afar like simple drooling eyed fans.

Hey - I wouldn't dare go it alone! We'll all be staying in a rented condo somewhere outside the city. Only one bedroom but lotsa floor space. I'll even have to fight a woman for the use of the one bathroom! The things I do for this site!

Because also along for the ride will be"

Web - my intrepid Web Editor

Nettie - Mrs. Web and Mrs. Web Editor

They will not only see films and help me get the site together everyday, they will be providing much needed emotional support.

Tim Norfolk - another film nut Tim covered the Harry Knowles Butt-Numb-a-Thon for Filethirteen and he too will be covering much that happens during the week in Park City.

We plan on seeing films and partying a lot, writing it all down, recording some audio and video and trying to provide you, the poor slob at home, with as much news and info, celebrity sighting and mindless Hollywood gossip as we can gather.

There will also surely be a heaping helping of in-fighting, bickering, back-stabbing, tension, sexual tension, drunken disorderly conduct and sexual confusion going on! And I, as is my wont, promise to tell all!

And You know I love those Mormon boys! I will be getting in "loads" of trouble!

Don't miss a second of all this hoopla. Filethirteen in Utah. 1/22-1/27/2000 (if they don't kick us out of the state before than!)

SLAMDANCE ANNOUNCES COMPETITION LINE-UP

January 22 - 29, 2000 Park City, Utah

FEATURE FILMS SCREENING IN COMPETITION

7-TEEN SIPS - (USA, 97 min.) WORLD PREMIERE A nihilist provides hope and destruction for a group of young middle American outcasts. Directed by Stephen Berra. Sounds interesting. Question #1: How does a nihilist provide hope?

BLINK OF AN EYE - (USA, 92 min.) A young man struggles between the woman he loves and the life he's trying to leave behind. Co-starring Douglas Spain (STAR MAPS). Directed by Van Fischer. Let me guess. He used to be a male prostitute.

GOOD HOUSEKEEPING - (USA, 92 min.) WORLD PREMIERE A rocket launcher is required to help sort out the future of a suburban white trash family. Directed by Frank Novak. White trash like John Waters white trash? or the Jerry Springer kind?

DOLPHINS - (Germany, 40 min., no dialogue) A misunderstood mental patient is set free from her gold fish bowl and crazy surroundings. Directed by Farhad Yawari. Note: No dialogue. DOUBLE

PARKED - (USA, 96 min.) WORLD PREMIERE A young mother ("Homicide's" Callie Thorne) tries to keep her son from his troubling new friend. Directed by Stephen Kinsella.

GOOD KURDS, BADKURDS - (USA, 72 min.) WORLD PREMIERE An epic document reveals America's political interest in the Kurds. Directed by Kevin McKiernan. LA

SONAMBULA (The Sleepwalker) - (Argentina, 105 min., subtitled) An epic sci-fi journey of a man and woman in a world where memories are not what they seem. Directed by Fernando Spiner. Pi R Squared. With a bit of "Dark City" and "Brazil" and...???

RATA, RATONES, RATEROS - (Ecuador, 107 min., subtitled) US PREMIERE A tale of two cousins - one trying to cope with a demanding father, and one who is very good at being very bad. Directed by Sebastian Cordero. Patty Duke show on acid?

THE STRANGE CASE OF SEÑOR COMPUTER - (USA, 105 min.) WORLD PREMIERE Questions of survival prove less interesting to a computer than sadomasochistic phone sex with a big-breasted human. Directed by Tom Sawyer. Rehash of a "twilight Zone" episode??? And is Tom Sawyer your real name?

THE TARGET SHOOTS FIRST - (USA, 70 min.) A young man uncovers the hidden corporate bureaucracy of the Columbia House music club. Directed by Christopher Wilcha. #1 on my "Must See" list!

TUVALU - (Germany, 101 min., no dialogue) US PREMIERE Expressionist story shows how greed and corruption threaten to close down a family-owned bath house. Directed by Veit Helmer. Have the Germans gone mute all of a sudden?

WE MARRIED MARGO - (USA, 90 min.) WORLD PREMIERE Two guys, one ex-wife, and the search for how she changed so many people's lives. With cameos including Cindy Crawford, Tom Arnold and the late Payne Stewart. Directed by J.D. Shapiro. All of these look like interesting films. Except the one about the Kurds. Don't think I'd be interested in that too much. Some of these look quite interesting. The blurb for "The Target Shoots First" sure has piqued my curiosity. I think we can all relate to that one.

SHORT FILMS IN COMPETITION

RELIEVIO - (USA, 10 min.) Directed by Ara Corbett.

PUTA DE OROS - (Spain, 14 min., no dialogue) Directed by Miquel Crespi Traveria.

ELEVATOR WORLD - (USA, 4 min.) Directed by Mitchell Rose.

MATT IN LOVE - (USA, 21 min.) Directed by Adam Kleid.

CROSSWALK - (USA, 25 min.) Directed by Lance Larson.

THE GENTLEMAN - (USA, 18 min.) Directed by Sam Seraphy.

CAN'T SPEAK - (USA, 9 min.) Directed by Sugimasa Yamashita.

VOODOO - (USA, 6 min.) Directed by Gregg Bishop.

TROUBLEMAKER - (USA, 22 min.) Directed by Patrick Given.

GREAT FALLS - (Australia, 22 min.) Directed by Yves Stening.

THE HANGNAIL - (USA, 2 min.) Directed by Shane Acker.

KINGS - (USA, 17 min.) Directed by Niva Dorell.

LUZ - (USA/Spain, 8 min.) Directed by Jose Javier Martinez.

ENDGAME - (USA, 8 min.) Directed by Luis Camara Silva.

ELSEWHERE - (Ireland, 13 min.) Directed by Brian Daysdale.

MUTUAL LOVE LIFE - (USA, 11 min.) Directed by Robert Peters.

Hard to tell on the short films.The good thing is, even if you don't know what they are about, if they are bad, the agony can only go on for 20 minutes or so at best. Still, that 20 minutes can be unbearable. A short film called "Strange Parallel" at the Austin Film Festival still gives be nausea when I am unfortunate enough to reflect on it. No names or films I recognize here tho. It is always interesting to see shorts. You never know when you might see something exceptional and extraordinary.

SLAMDANCE ANNOUNCES SPECIAL SCREENINGS & LOUNGE FILMS January 22-29, 2000 Park City, Utah

Los Angeles -- The Slamdance Film Festival will screen six films in its Special Screenings category, as well as a total of 30 features and shorts that will play in the Slamdance Filmmakers' Lounge. "The Filmmaker's Lounge proved so popular in previous years, we have decided to turn it into a bona fide second screening venue at Slamdance 2000," said Slamdance Executive Director Peter Baxter. Several more films will be included in the festival and will be announced shortly.

SPECIAL SCREENINGS

AMARGOSA - (USA, 93 min.) WORLD PREMIERE Director Todd Robinson (WILD BILL: HOLLYWOOD MAVERICK), discovers an 87-year-old belly dancer in a small western town.

BARENAKED IN AMERICA - (Canada, 89 min.) US PREMIERE Director Jason Priestley (who appeared in Slamdance '99's DILL SCALLION) follows the Canadian rock band The Barenaked Ladies on tour in this music documentary. Wow! - who knew Priestly was so versatile. Too bad the BN Ladies are like last last year.

HOME SWEET HOBOKEN - (USA, 92 min.) WORLD PREMIERE Two unemployed brothers try to steal their grandmother's precious ring. Directed by Yoshifumi Hosoya.

PEEP SHOW - (USA, 9 min.) A woman gets what she wants at a different kind of peep show. Directed by Charlie Call. Saw this at the Austin Film Festival. It is a horribly awful one-joke short film. And the end is the stupidest and most derogatory punchline to women ever filmed. I can believe any other festival accepted this one. Makes me a bit concerned here.

ROAD TO PARK CITY - (USA, 90 min.) OPENING NIGHT FILM A young filmmaker pins all his hopes on getting into Sundance. Directed by Bret Stern. In-joke films are so very... over.

SWIMMING - (USA, 98 min.) WORLD PREMIERE Starring Lauren Ambrose (PSYCHO BEACH PARTY). A coming of age story set in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina about a girl who is left to manage the family diner. Directed by Robert J. Siegel.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU - (USA, 90 min.) WORLD PREMIERE An attractive but snobbish indie bookstore owner reluctantly hooks up with a loutish aspiring radio DJ to fend off corporate annihilation. Directed by Jeff Stolhand What?

FILMMAKERS' LOUNGE FEATURE SCREENINGS

ENTER - (Germany, 50 min.) WORLD PREMIERE An extraordinary blend of immigrants creates a pretty wacky bowl of everyday life in Los Angeles. Directed by Veit Bastian. But they talk right... It's German so... there is dialogue right?

GALAXY VERY, VERY FAR AWAY - (USA, 80 min.) WORLD PREMIERE STAR WARS mania strikes, and director Tariq (Slamdance '99 Lounge Short "24-7") uses the Internet to get videographers around the country to contribute to this documentary. With cameos by James Duval and Meatloaf. I am so burned out on "Star Wars" Still, I might sit through 50 minutes of this for 15 seconds of Duval. He rocks.

HERE WE ARE WAITING FOR YOU - (Brazil, 73 min.) USA PREMIERE. A mesmerizing resume of the 20th century. Directed by Marcelo Masagao. i.e. - 50 minutes of rapid fire editing MTV style music video images of the last 100 years - with a surprising emphasis on the last 30 years???

SEARCHING FOR ROGER TAYLOR - (USA, 89 min.) WORLD PREMIERE While searching for his long missing childhood rock idol, director Aaron Barnett investigates the people and events surrounding the birth of music video. Roger Taylor of Queen?

SYSTEM NOISE - (USA, 70 min.) WORLD PREMIERE Gilgamesh Jones is having a terrible day. The drugs don't help, and God knows the flesh-eating zombies only make it worse. Directed by Josh Ferrazzano. Lodger's Rule of Film Festivals #1: Great blurb - so probably a bad flick.

WILBUR WHATELEY'S SEX DRIVE - (USA, 59 min.) Wilbur Whateley mistakes his sex drive for an illness. Directed by H. Turner. See above - still, this one sounds like it could be the exception to the rule. (Ignoring my own rules already)

FILMMAKERS' LOUNGE SHORT SCREENINGS

BEST IN BEEF - (The Netherlands, 10 min.) Directed by Rob Smits & Britta Hosman. If you’re gay, you just gotta see a short called "Best in Beef!"

THE BUM SPANGLED BANNER - (USA, 2 min.) Directed by Jangho Choi.

CRASH PAD AND THE ONE ARM BANDIT - (USA, 17 min.) Directed by Richard Allen. I'm betting its animation.

DOT DOWN - (USA, 15 min.) Directed by Christopher Duvert.

FAMILY PORTRAIT - (USA, 13 min.) Directed by Chris Harris.

FLEDGLING - (Australia, 8 min.) Directed by Eron Sheean.

HARRY KNUCKLES AND THE TREASURE OF THE AZTEC MUMMY - (Canada, 27 min.) Directed by Lee Demarbre. Spoof of action adventure films, in particular "The mummy," "the Phantom," "Congo" and "Indiana Jones?"

HELL HOUSE - (USA, 26 min.) Directed by Dewey Nicks.

HELLO KITTY - (USA, 14 min.) Directed by Noel Dowd. Clever use of a popular phrase? Or could it be about the well-loved Anime?

THE LAST DANCE - (USA, 7 min.) Directed by Alwine van Heemstra.

LEGS - (Canada, 4 min.) Directed by David Ostry.

MACCA STREWTH - (Australia, 5 min.) Directed by Dylan Crooke.

THE MIDNIGHT CARNIVAL - (USA, 7 min.) Directed by Aaron Avgenblick.

MISS GENTILBELLE - (USA, 25 min.) Directed by Tara Miele.

MOONSHINE - (USA, 22 min.) Directed by Kelly Riley.

MOSQUITO - (Germany, 8 min.) Directed by Frieder Wittich.

OTTO, I AM ANOTHER - (Brazil, 21 min.) Directed by Lucas Bambozzi & Cao Guimaraes. Madam I'm Adam

PACIFIER - (USA, 10 min.) Directed by O. Perez.

RESTLESS - (USA, 15 min.) Directed by Adam Gault.

THE ROOSTER - (USA, 6 min.) Directed by Scott Gardner.

ROSEWATER - (USA, 13 min.) Directed by Kimi Takesue.

TONITE - (USA, 4 min.) Directed by Masa Tsuyuki.

UNDESIRABLES - (USA, 23 min.) Directed by Marianna Yarovskaya.

VEDMA - (USA, 5 min.) Directed by Allison Schulnik.

Meanwhile... across the street

Things I'd like to see at Sundance - good luck to me

(Most of these will be at multiplexes and art houses in April anyway)

• American Psycho
• Boiler Room
• But I'm a Cheerleader
• Don't Think Twice (Sarah Polley short)
• The Filth and the Fury (Sex Pistols documentary)
• Joe Gould's Secret (Stanley Tucci - dir)
• Psycho Beach Party Punks Rated X (Emilio Estevez - dir)
• Reaching Normal (Anne Heche short)
• Rick and Steve the Happiest Gay Couple in the World (short)
• Trixie (Alan Rudolph - dir)
• The Virgin Suicides (Sofia Coppola dir)
• Waking the Dead (Keith Gordon)

MORE SLAM NEWS COMING SOON! KEEP COMING BACK TO F13 FOR DETAILS AND DIRT