Monday night after the festival I got some Chinese food from Wan Fu and watched some of the shows I had taped, "Out of Practice," the sit-com with Stockard Channing (which is kinda funny) and "Medium," which was extra good and directed by Arliss Howard. He should get an award for his work on this show. I also did some writing.

The next morning, well, afternoon, I got up at one. I had taken the day off from work because I had a dentist appointment in the after noon. I showered, got dressed and hopped in the car. I switch the CD from Kate Bush's "The Whole Story" to the new Cure CD. On the way to the dentist's office I ran into a little rain while driving on Research, which was surprising. I figured that with the escalation in the price of gas it is costing me about four dollars a day to drive to the Arbor for Agliff. My dentist office is even further, so driving there cost me about five.

I was thinking that I should just head home since I would have to drive back up to the Arbor at 6:15 for the nighttime showings but I was hungry and wanted to find a place to eat. I'm so weird. I want to eat at some place unique, some sort of mom and pop restaurant but when I see one I usually get cold feet and don't go in.

I saw a strip center with a Goodwill and a Salvation Army side by side so pulled in. Ever since I moved into Lodgopolis, I've been scouring rummage stores for interesting paintings and stuff. I was so tired of having movie posters covering my walls. I found a old, neat industrial photo of a set of portable stairs - kind of like for a small airplane - just setting against a wall. It was stark and odd and only seven bucks, so I bought it and a VHS tape of some music videos. Even though I am cooling off on doing The Lodger Showboat, I am still on the lookout for old VHS music vids. This one was from the 90's though but it had Henry Rollins' "Liar" video, which is cool.

I noticed a sign for a Chuy's restaurant when I got back on the access road, so I pulled in and had lunch. The Chuy's on Barton Springs has always been good but this one was fantastic. The food was hot and plated so neatly and looked as good as it tasted. I had to tell the manager how good it was.

Went back to my apartment and it was even more overcast and rainy but just sprinkling mainly. I wrote and chatted a bit on the computer then grabbed my bag and a new CD to go to the Arbor. I had burnt out the new Cure on the trip to the dentist's office. I put in this CD that I burned of mixed stuff including that song "United States of Whatever," some Marianne Faithfull and the love song from "Moulin Rouge." The Fabulous Johnny Oh! was skipping movies tonight and skating at some sort of adult gay skate thing that they do once or twice a month somewhere. Johnny fancies himself a dancer and athlete and seems to enjoy such stuff. I saw Craig and Lance inside the theater lobby close to the end of the line so just did cutsies and talked to them. We talked about this and that and Craig mentioned that he sent me an e-mail about some hot young man we had seen the night before. It was Dan from "The Real World - Miami."

Craig sent me this e-mail the next day: "By the way, that tall guy in the blue shirt we all thought looked familiar was Dan Renzi of Real World Miami fame, who now lives in Austin, is on the aGLIFF film jury, and is performing in a play called End of the World Party." (http://www.naughtyaustin.com/index2.htm)

We got in the theater pretty quickly and I asked them if they would mind me sitting with them. I told them, "No handjobs!" and laughed. As we were going in I saw cutie volunteer Kevin. He was dressed in a fest t-shirt and had a glitter heart on his cheek. I said, "If the movie is boring, I just might come back out and make out with you." Kevin is so sweet, instead of a snooty comment, he cutely said, "I might take you up on that." That made me smile.

I can't remember how it came up but I called Lance a "young man" and he turned to Craig and said, "I fooled him too." Craig is in his late 30's but he looks 25 easily. (I found out the next night that Lance, who looks like he could be in college, is 36). I told them it was wrong for two older guys who look young to hook up. "Nobody wants to see that. No body wants to see two people of the same age together. Nobody wants to see two fat old trolls together either. People want to see teenage boys with teachers. That's what they want." Whew... I gave away a little of the bitter away there.

The videos before the show were more alt_rock stuff like Puddle of Mudd, that song about "Heroes" from "Spiderman 2" and some piece of crap by Howie Day. Okay, if you're going to play videos by cute young singer-songwriter types, don't pick someone as bland and innocuous as Howie Day. Play some Ben Kweller or Ben Lee or Ben Jellen or Ben Folds or Ben Harper or any of the Bens, really.

Craig noticed the Kino character in Agliff's artwork on a slideshow before the film and we talked about how the character is so ugly (he looks like a poncy little perv in his 50's in an old-school theater usher's uniform) and how the new regime at Agliff should change that logo.

Lonny Giles, the new Agliff ExecDirect got up and talked about how he does a queer oriented show on KOOP radio called "Outspoken" on Friday nights and I thought about how I should hit him up to put me on it and hype the website. I need to remember to send him an e-mail after the festival.

The Agliff "First Time" trailer was the one about lesbian sex and Amy's Ice Cream and I've only seen this one once before, when it ran without sound. This time is had sound problems and I think they even stopped it before it finished.

"Wilby Wonderful", the feature, was preceded by a cute little short that was called "Speak Up." It had two actors who must have spent hours learning to lip-sync this dialogue track that was made up of dialogue clips from other movies all edited together to create a argument between two drag queens. There was "Don't fuck with me fellas" from "Mommie Dearest" and the Dolly Parton "change you from a rooster to a hen" speech from "9 to 5" and a bunch of others. It was well-done and cute but kinda negative. It was made by Randy Eisenberg, who has made a whole slew of funny gay shorts, so it was easy to forgive it its weaknesses.

This for some reason also made me think about the lack of directors and actors and such who usually come to festivals to do Q&A after their movies. Other than Craig Chester on opening night, there have been none. I wonder if there's some other G&L film festival running on this same week that is bigger and more prestigious or if Agliff just didn't work to get filmmakers here. I am not a big fan of Q&A at fests (there is always some schmuck in the audience who either babbles on and on about something ridiculous or asks the most inane questions. If these people were at the screening of the premiere of "The Wizard of Oz" they would either ramble on and on about the psychology behind the meaning of dreams or ask something like, "Was that all supposed to be a dream?"

"Wilby Wonderful" finally started and the digital projection was horrendous. There seems to be no care for the little extras that make a film festival important this year. The presentation of this film was atrocious. Maybe there is some other, more prestigious fest this week and Agliff could only get 3rd generation dubs to project. Whatever. If I spent a lot of money to buy tickets to this fest, I would be bitching up a storm.

And worse this year at Agliff has been the audiences. Some stupid young queen sat behind me and talked all the way through the movie like he was in his own living room. I wanted to slap the shit out of him. And every fucking five minutes he would snort snot up into his sinuses so loud that I at first thought a warthog had gotten loose in the theater. This guy needs to become a fucking shut in! It was disgusting. Somebody tell me his name and I'll hook him up with a computer, cable TV and Meals on Wheels and we can all watch a fucking movie in peace.

After the film, which I didn't much care for (read the review), Lance said, "I knew you hated it." Well, yeah. It was awful I couldn't believe he liked it. He went down 10 points on the lodgey Respect-o-Meter. (Still ranking pretty high on the Lodgey Hot-o-Meter though).

Craig went to the bathroom and I talked to Lance for a bit. It was 9pm and my next film, which they were not seeing, "Liberty in Restraint" was scheduled to start at 9. I looked up and some other film was on the marquee at the theater we had just been in, so I said goodbye to Lance and walked across the lobby over to the other Agliff screening theater. The film "Lesbian Grandmothers from Mars" was playing (When I told Craig I though that was a weird title for a film about two grand mothers who rode bikes across America in support of gay marriage, he told me they were from Mars, Pennsylvania. See, I like Craig. He knows stuff).

Anyway, "LG from Mars" was still playing and I stood in line forever waiting to get in. There were a lot of ladies in the screening and they did a Q&A (maybe Film Programmer Mo Ratel was more interested in the girls film than the boys since she is, in fact, a female.

No one came down the line and checked on us or told us the other screening was running late. We just had to figure it out for ourselves. The two unattractive older guys ahead of me, who had foreign accents and were trying to find a place for one of them to stay, were not members. No one came and told them that the non-member line was outside. (Not that I really care about who gets in when in these lesser attended movies, but these guys were confused). This was a really unorganized mess and no one seemed to give a shit.

We finally got in the theater around 9:35 or so. No one apologized for the wait. In the theater, they started a video by this band of young teenage boys named "Busted" who sound like Britney Spears meets Matchbox 20 meets Sum 41. There song is called "That's What I Go to School For" and it's about lusting after teachers. I think it's about time we realized and admitted that there is no a double standard between teenage boys and girl - but a fundamental difference. And while it is wrong for a person in authority to take advantage of teenagers, I can't really blame these hot MILF teachers for sleeping with their students. (Please disregard my review of "Underclassman"). This video shows is further proof that the attraction between younger men to older women is certainly reciprocal and obviously a normal, healthy part of growing up. The sooner we grow up in this country and move from a Springer mentality to a enlightened mentality about sexuality in all of its wonders and its forms, the sooner we can truly help those who are abused, mistreated and molested. Whew. Oh fuck. I almost tripped and fell off my soapbox. Who knew a video by Busted could be so thought-provoking.

Then the fucking Puddle of Mudd video started and it was 9:45 and I was starting to get pissed. The movie was already way late. There was no reason to have to sit through all this pre-show crap when the fucking show should have been started 45 minutes ago. I had to get up twice and get pissy with a volunteer to get something done about it. It was a nightmare. The house manager or whatever volunteer he was seemed to have no idea as to what was going on.

I got back to my seat and the lead singer of PoM was singing, "She fucking hates me" and I thought: Guess what! I fucking hate you too. I was getting steamed. The house manager or whatever volunteer he was seemed to have no idea as to what was going on.

Finally, the guy from The Great Outdoors, who never says his name but always hypes his business got up and apologized and said they would start the show soon. I kinda felt bad for bitching but sheesh. Time is precious people. And gay time is even more precious. If Johnny or Craig or Lance or some other cutie was there to sit on my lap and calm me down, there might have been less drama. Maybe Agliff should look into getting Lodgey his own volunteer next year, a cute little teenage boy to sit on my lap when there are problems and distract me.

After the guy from The Great Outdoors (see, it works that he doesn't say his name, I've pimped his business like a thousand times already) spoke, the Busted video started again and everyone groaned as we were then thrown into a pit of blackness and silence when it abruptly stopped. Suddenly, the Sponsor Reel played, which is cool, Agliff has got to hype the people that give them money. I'm cool with that. I noticed that the reel had electronic dance music this time instead of Pink Floyd.

Then there were previews for "Little Man" and "Hellbent," the latter of which I just can't wait to see and tear apart. In fact, I was thinking it may very well be there worst thing I will see at the festival when the MOST GODAWFUL AND HORRENDOUS SHORT FILM I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIKE was shown. It is called "Indelible" and it is by Charles Lum. This was a long, laborious and disgusting piece that was simply the mixing of scenes from the 70's horror flick "Carrie" with 70's gay porn. (The title of the classic "L.A. Tool and Die" is shown at one point). Sissy Spacek gets blood dumped on her head in slow motion while the film cuts back continually to shot after shot of cum being splooged all over some mustached guy's face. It is repulsive. To even discuss this piece of shit gives one the impression that it is in fact a viable film when it is no such thing. This isn't even "art." My worst fear is that Lum and some of the film team members at Agliff thought it was "art" - or even worse - Funny. I hope that whoever is responsible for this nightmare of a supposed film experience getting into Agliff dies of cancer. (Damn, giving away the bitter again!)

By now it was 10 o'clock. "Liberty in Restraint" was officially an hour late. And it was a piece of crap. It wasn't at all what I expected it to be. I went home after, had some (very late) dinner, watched TV and went to sleep.

Well, guess I better stop saying "Don't give away the bitter" because that's exactly what I do here at filethirteen. All this wonderful bitterness and it doesn't cost you a cent! Think I'll change my sign (with apologies to Oprah and Anastasia) to:

Proud to give away The Bitter

lodger2005